A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:do you think it's ever good to meet up and talk with a guy who you were dating but it ended abruptly with? I was dating this guy for half a year just over and all of a sudden his ended things without a word, I know a lot of guys who do this because they think it's easier and the best way for the girl. But it's actually really hurtful and upsetting to think a guy who I was dating for that long and got that close with could leave my life so easily, to me that says he couldn't have cared that much about us.Point is we talked briefly when I saw him at this house party last weekend, but I had drank a lot and he caught me off guard so it's a bit blurry of what he said, but i remember being upset and it wasn't much of an answer, i'm still constantly thinking what happened and why has it ended, I just want to know why this has happened so abruptly! But also to confront the fact that he did it so carelessly and was a jerk about it! I know i shouldn't care and should move on, but there's so much that we didn't talk about and needs to be said for peace of mind.Some of my friends are saying forget him and just leave it, that he'll soon realise what he had with me. But then other friends are saying we were together quite a while and that he owes me an explanation so I should meet up with him and talk it out.. As much as I'd love to leave quietly and him think he didn't upset or hurt me, I think I need to see him considering everything and how much it's playing on my mind. I obviously wont be getting back with him! But I don't know if it's a good idea for us to meet and talk, what do you think? Or in fact if he will meet up with me, what if instead he thinks i'm being desperate or sad for suggesting it?
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female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (27 January 2013):
 Just curious, what makes you think that he will tell you the truth or that he will tell you anything at all? If he hasn't done it all this time, what makes you think he will do so now?
Just because you saw him at a party and spoke to him briefly while drunk doesn't mean he will somehow now be a great person and tell you everything you need to know.
I personally vote that it's a waste of time. If seeing him has stirred this many upset thoughts, why make an appointment for round 2 without any guarantee of resolving anything? The truth is, the ball is in his court. You can't force someone to tell you the truth nor can you force them to speak to you seriously. All you can do is arrange a meeting and hope he says yes, and then hope you get what you want. That's too much hoping and time for someone that treated you like shit.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 January 2013):
 Well I can see meeting him in a public place and hearing him out... but be prepared for a LINE about how it's him not you and he's sorry and can we be friends yada yada yada.
Make it clear that you will meet him once and hear him give you his line to make himself feel better about what he did...
Think of it as the final goodbye... DO NOT be sucked in as he tries to make himself feel better about what he did.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (26 January 2013):
 I think it can be helpful if you are prepared to hear things that might be upsetting and you are not expecting to get back together. Keep your head up high, yes he might think you want him back or you are desperate, but if it is about you getting answers for you does it matter what he thinks...
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