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Is it correct to be seeing two people at once, while you are not in an official relationship?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 July 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Can you see two people at once?

Not like official dating,

but keeping your options open and seeing 2 girls at once?

That wouldn't be called being a player would it?

Because Im seeing a guy who is also seeing another girl, although I am only seeing him and I dont really want to see anyone else, because I really like him.

He was upfront about it and told me honestly,

we haven't made it official or anything,

So it is okay right?

Im only 15 and he's 16 so I dont really know much about relationships, because Ive never been in one.

Thanks x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008):

Yes you can date more than one person at a time. If this is simply a casual dating situation, which it seems to be, neither of you is obligated to the other. It's ok to play your options and date other people. At your age, you may not want to get into anything too serious yet anyway. If things do start to get serious, then you will want to have a conversation about seeing each other exclusively and putting a boyfriend/girlfriend tag on it. If you're just dating and having some fun, don't worry about it. You've got your whole life ahead of you to have serious relationships. Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I never said he has a girlfriend,

I asked if someone can date more than one person

and I've heard you can date more than one person to keep your options open to see who you connect with more.

Adults go on dates with different women,

and he doesn't have a girlfriend,

we are both seeing him, nothing is official.

I just wanted to know if someone can date more than one person because I have heard and seen that you can.

Thanks x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008):

He is a dog - he has a girlfriend and is keeping you as Plan B, something to do when his other girl isn't about and you deserve more. If he liked you and respected you he would want to be only with you and not the other girl, and the same goes for her, too. He is using you both and probably feeling like he's a total teen stud and a right clever little bugger for getting away with it.

Don't bother asking him to choose between you, because even if he chose you, do you really think you could be certain that he wouldn't be good for a little while and then get another girl on the side? Because he probably would. A guy called Goldsmith once said "When you marry your mistress you automatically create a job vacancy" so bear this in mind. If you see off the other girl and get him to yourself you are creating a vacancy, and it would not be long before this cheater will fill it again with another girl that YOU won't know about.

And put yourself in the other girls shoes - how would you feel if you found out the guy you were with was having his fun with someone else behind your back? You'd be pretty hurt!

You say you don't know much about relationships. Well, for a start a relationship should be between two people, not two people and whoever else they think they can get away sneaking about with on the sly. Stop your involvement with this boy - it will only lead to heartbreak and trouble for you (especially if the other girl finds out about you!) and by being his Plan B it means that you are not leaving your heart free to meet someone good, and kind and who will respect you enough to only want to be involved with you and you alone.

You deserve better. Go.

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