A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it bad to be in a relationship and watch porn? I used to love Watching porn til I met my bf. my bf feels that watching porn will only destroy our relationship and gets mad if I do watch it... But he watches it behind my back so I get upset over it...not the fact that he is watching but the fact that I will let him yet he hides..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2015): It's a bad thing if the person you are dating feels uncomfortable with you looking at it. I think it is ideal to explore with each other and feel the most sexual interest and arousal with your partner. To have him on your mind and fantasize what you are going to do to him when you both get home. And for him to feel that way about you. That's ideal. Often when people develop an interest in porn they let it overshadow having sex and engaging in the real thing. They use porn as a substitute for sex. I don't think that is healthy.
As long as, when it comes to sex, he is your priority, then watching porn every now and then is no big deal. But if you prefer watching porn to getting it on with your boyfriend, then you've both got a problem. And he is in the right in feeling concern to address this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2015): It's bad to watch porn if doing so adversely affects your relationship.
If you can't compromise on it, and he sets a double-standard; then you are in an incompatible relationship.
You have as much right to watch it as he has. He sounds like a control-freak, and I'm sure his dominance isn't restricted to your watching porn. I'm sure he sets the rules and regulations on a lot of other things you didn't bother to mention. Perhaps he thinks it's "unladylike!"
In that case he's a total douche!
The problem with porn, like any other form of visual entertainment; becomes habitual, if too much of it is watched over time. The purpose of porn is sexual-arousal and stimulation through images; and as a visual-aid to masturbation. I do not agree that it creates unhealthy sex. There is no factual science to back that up. I think that was purely opinionated.
If the use of it upsets your partner, or lessens your sexual-performance; that is how it adversely affects your
relationship. Over indulgence may lead to an addiction for those who have a propensity to addictions. People with addictive-personality can usually swap one addiction for another...alcohol, drugs, food, and/or porn. People who have sex-addictions are addicted to the act, and anything connected, or related to sex. Even if they've never watched porn in their lives. All you have to do is mention sex, and you've got their undivided attention. They are a slave to their sexual desires.
If porn becomes a bone of contention in the relationship, then it shouldn't be watched at all. By neither of you!
Watch it together, or none at all.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 January 2015):
 "Is it bad"??? Since I don't understand the facination with watching erotic images of "actors" doing things men can only dream of happening to them I guess I don't see the harm(the bad).
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 January 2015):
 He's a bit of a hypocrite, isn't he? Is he controlling in other ways? How about you both delete your browsing history and just trust that the other will do what is best for the relationship?
If you don't feel that's possible, then are you sure you are with the right guy?
I'd be very leery of a guy who wanted to cut off porn for his girlfriend but continued to indulge himself. That sounds like an entitled and controlling kind of guy, not one who is a keeper.
Did you ask him how it would destroy your relationship if you watch porn and he does as well? What an odd situation.
I might let this one back into the dating pool and find a more rational man to date.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 January 2015):
 Talk to him.
If he can watch porn (on his own) so can you. There should be NO double standards here.
Or even better, check out yourbrainonporn.com and try a 30 days NO PORN for both of you.
Is it BAD to watch it IN a relationship, you ask. I think it depends if you RATHER watch porn the be intimate with your partner then YES it is. If you can't get off without watching porn, then yes it is. IF you think PORN is reality, then yes it is.
If you use it because you have 5 minutes and are horny and alone then no, I don't think it's bad. But I BET you if you TRIED your imagination could concoct something WAY more steamy and sensual compared to porn.
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