A
female
age
30-35,
*XBeccaTxX
writes:heyyy,A couple of months ago I got in to some serious trouble with social services and the police for underage sex with my bf (i felt ready to do it, he's 15 nearly 16 now) I told my friends some VERY personal infomation about it because I needed them to know so I wouldn't feel weird talking to them about it all the times I get taken out of class to talk to social services. I told them not to tell anyone.A couple of days ago we broke up, all because I said I wouldn't answer the door to them if they came round, they just invited themselfs!They then started calling me a bitch and said that she hasn't wanted to be mates with me for a long time because I've CHANGED. She told me we can talk but she has no interest in being mates and if I talked to her in town she would pretend she doesn't know me.Everyone has changed over the years and being raped my my brother and sexually abused without realising from my ex isn't exactly going to make me act the same.It's really hard to cope with, with social services interfering with my family and me on a children's support programme for "emotional abuse" from by parents. They won't leave my family alone!I'm now not mates with my friend because one girl, who didnt seem botherd when I talked to her about trying to make our friendship better. I feel really hurt and uselesss! I cant help it if I've changed and I know she really does want to be mates with me, it's just because of what this other girl (used to be my mate) is saying!I'm just going through a hard time that's all, she says she can't handle with the stress being young, of all this. I'm angry at her because we made up and it was all going to work, but I don't know what this other girl HAS SAID AS SHE WAS ROUND HER HOUSE BUT SHE'S MESSED IT ALL UP!! I'm REALLY upset she's being so childishh! HELP ME, WHAT SHOULD I DO? THANK YOU XX
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (15 February 2009):
 People do change especially at your age so I agree that it is no surprise that you've changed especially, as you say given all the experiences you have had. It seems to me that you really feel that your friends have not been there for you as you would wish through this time and that is why you are feeling this way.
You obviously also feel your experiences have matured you prehaps beyond your friends which in a way I am sure they have but you shouldnt forget that it is good just to hang back and be young sometimes and I think this is something you need to get you away from whats going on. If your friends are talking to you like that then there maybe an element of 'better off without' since though they may have issues they shouldnt respond by calling you a bitch.
You are starting to feel lonely and isolate clearly and this is not good. I think you need to start trying to find people who you can talk to. It sounds also like a little bit of 'he said, she said' which you should try and rise above hard though it is. My advice would be this...pick one person you are close too in the circle; who you think is most likely to understand and try and sit down with them and talk it out with them. Hopefully they will be understanding and lead and influence the others...Good luck :)x
A
female
reader, Enya +, writes (15 February 2009):
 Hi Sweetheart, you really have been through the mill. But there comes at time in our lives that we have to be a grown up and start behaving like a grown up, having sex with your bf is a very grown up decision for a young woman of 15....I also feel that if these so called friends are not your friends....friends dont treat each other like that..i feel very much that whats happening is full of misunderstandings and lack of proper communication..but from your email i also detect a lot of anger and hurt which you must get resolved...focus on yourself for now...getting your issues sorted...if these girls wnat to know you then they will come back..if not then it dosent matter ,because you have a beautiful personality that will enable you to make new and better friendships with people who do understand you....Yes life is hard right now, but you dont need to be making any harder for yourself...you are in control of what happens from now...Good luck and god bless Enya xxxx
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