A
male
age
26-29,
*am Wilson
writes:Hello everyone, I'm sorry if I kind of stopped giving advice, I had a lot of things in my plate this past month and well there is something that is really concerning me and I may need help. As summer vacation approaches me and my girlfriend TALKED A LOT (we've been together since January) and she really insists on finding a summer internship. I kind of decided to not take an internship this summer but my girlfriend is pretty adamant on the idea. She works in the university library (that's where we met) + is a full scholar and I know that her education is everything to her and I want to help (+ i don't want to lose her this summer). I've talked to my dad face to face and told him everything about her(I poured my heart out in telling him how much I cared for her). He said that there's actually something available at his office and he was pretty cool about me asking him to give my girlfriend the position. We've been only together 5 months plus we're only 21. She freaked out this February when we were moving to fast but resolved the issue shortly after. She said yes to the internship but......she lives in another state which means that if she was to take the internship I'll have to LIVE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND or she has to GET AN APARTMENT. I know she's a bit tight on money so we'll have to live together... Is it okay to have my girlfriend stay at our house for summer with my family on top of that she has to work with my DAD... Am I just pressuring her to do this? Is this a different thing or am I moving to fast Again? PS : I have siblings both aged 10-14. Will this work or is it a disaster waiting to happen.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 May 2016):
 If your parents are okay with it then you can ask her off course, but tell her it is only an option and that you don't want to pressure her in to anything. At the end of the day you are both adults and if your relationship is working then you should be able to talk openly about this.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 May 2016):
 I think it can go both ways, but if she already said yes to the job then it's up to her how she wants to arrange the sleeping conditions. If you have the opportunity to offer her to stay with you, then you can make the offer, but it's up to her to decide whether to take it or not.
Im just thinking, if she "freaked out" earlier about you moving too fast, then asking her to live with you for the summer might also be seen as too much. You've just been together for 4 months...
So, don't ask her to "move in", instead, offer her the possibility of staying rent free with your family.
Would she be having her own room? If not, I dont think this would be a good idea.
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A
male
reader, Sam Wilson +, writes (17 May 2016):
Sam Wilson is verified as being by the original poster of the question I really do want her with me. Actually we are okay with space and rooms arent really a problem.I know living together for the summer is something very serious. She will meet every one and spend time with us too but isnt that a bit daunting in the early phase of a relationship?
I just want her to be in my world than risk the potential of breaking up over the summer because of the long distance. She was actually joking that this summer will be a sneak peak for our marriage and Im happy that she even thought of me as marriage material.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 May 2016):
 Your dad is the boss here so if he says okay, then your girlfriend should stay with you folks. Your dad is also mature and experienced. He will advise you about what's appropriate or not. It's also up to your girlfriend to decide whether she feels comfortable with this. If everybody says yes, then you can decide how much she should help out with rent and food.
It sounds like you really want her there. If she comes, do your siblings have to share one room. Are you worried about being overcrowded? Maybe you can bribe them? Your siblings will worry that they are getting less attention and that everybody would have eyes on you and your girlfriend. You have to think of something to reassure them that they won't feel left out and that it would be a great summer.
There should be a balance of being professional, cordial and a sense of connection in the family. At 5 months, it's too soon to say if your relationship will be forever. It doesn't mean you can't have a good time together. The priority will be everyone getting along, over individual wants and desires.
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