A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Two nights ago I went to a small kickback at my best friend's house. He has been my best friend since high school and he had had a big crush on me back then. We are now in college and we hang out every weekend with our whole crew. At the kickback, we had both gotten a little tipsy (not out of control drunk) but we had gotten tipsy and we ended up kissing. I thought it was weird at first but I felt really happy after it happened. We ended up kissing several times that night and after i had left he kept texting me telling me how cool i was and that he had been trying to do that since highschool. The next morning he texted me saying... hey sorry if that was weird last night but its all good. We hung out again that same day and the next night and ever since then hes been really cuddly and touchy. He always wants to sit next to me, when we're on the couch he'll slip his hand through to cushions to hold mine and other things. But whenever i leave to say goodbye he doesnt go in for a kiss... i know hes shy but im afraid to initiate it because im afraid how he'll react. We havent kissed since that night but what should i do? Is it a good idea?
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (7 September 2010):
If your observations are accurate, you probably don't have much to be afraid of.
Find a comfortable time when the two of you are together and not around other people, and initiate it! If he really IS shy, he just may end up loving you forever. He may be afraid to initiate it himself, rationalizing that you were somewhat influenced by the alcohol on that previous occasion.
Don't over-think the problem, but it may help to plan and rehearse the event. There are a few movie scenes where the girl just suddenly turns around, takes the guy in her arms, and kisses him before he realizes what is happening. Some guys may be turned-on by the total surprise, though I don't think I'd care for that approach - I'd wonder if she only did it because she felt obligated.
The romantic fantasy situation I think I'd go for would be the girl leaning in to bring her face close to mine - maybe with a small cafe table between us - then gently putting a hand on my cheek, and softly saying, "Kiss me!".
The very first time I ever kissed a girl, I was almost 18. We had been hanging out and doing things together for a couple of weeks. One evening I walked her to her door and she turned around to say good night, but moved very close to me. She looked up at me, slightly parted her lips, and didn't say anything. After a year or so (OK, it was REALLY just a second or two!) I bent down and kissed her - she embraced me, and when we broke the kiss she said, "See - it isn't so hard to do!". So who initiated THAT one?
(After that we loved each other for about 6 months, but she broke up after we were separated at different universities. It was a great experience - I wish only the best for her, and would jump at the chance to meet her again sometime. Patty, do you see this?)
A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (6 September 2010):
Probably he's just a little lacking in the "balls" department. It's common. These situations where you expect him to kiss you--are they in front of other people? That can explain it. In any case, he's probably dying to kiss you again but hasn't mustered up the guts, and he would love it if you initiated it.
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