A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex have been broken up for 2 1/2 months now going on 3. The reason's behind the break up are to this day not entirely clear, it was a quick break up, meaning she never really allowed me to have a say or express my side of the story.For a while now I've been aching to try and approach her on the subject of the break up, not for the purpose of getting her back but in order to put my mind at ease. I never got any closure and my mind has been spinning around for a long time now trying to figure this all out. I also want to know the answers in order to rid myself of these feelings of anger towards her.Thing is over a month ago she contacted me admitting that she's been thinking about me and missing me incredibly (take note this is after 3 1/2 weeks of NC) and that not talking to me has been bugging her. I kept my guard up and we've been communicating from time to time, always her being the one to initiate it. She's given me many indications that she perhaps is interested in getting back together with me. I want that more than anything but I'm unsure. Few weeks ago I asked her several questions. I asked her why it was she contacted me, what she was hoping to get out of it or what she had gotten out of it. She explained to me that she just wanted to know how I've been feeling since the break up, whether or not I still cared and if I was missing her like she did. Then I asked her why it may have concerned her but then she responded with "Isn't it kind of obvious?" I didn't quite get it but I asked her if she was implying that she wanted to try and work something out. When she asked me what I meant by something I ended the questioning and left it there.I'm dying to know now, at least to put my mind to rest a little bit why exactly she was concerned. She told me it was obvious last time but this time I would just like her to tell me and I'm thinking of asking her again.I'm asking any of you now, would this be a good idea? Would it only make me look needy even after almost 3 months? Would she feel like I'm just digging into the break up? At the time of the break up her emotions were wild but now that things have been settled down a bit would it be appropriate to ask her why she was concerned with how I felt? It's the only answer I need to know at the time being. I need to know her intentions because if she's just using me to help herself get over me I'd like to just end any form of communication with her.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 May 2010):
I don't think it is. Here's why. If she said 'it's not you, it's me', you'd ask her why. If she then said 'I was just unhappy', you'd ask why. And it would continue. Every answer you get, you'd need to ask another question and you'll never get an answer. The best thing to do is accept that it went wrong because she chose to leave. That's the reason. That's all you need to know. But don't start asking questions, because you'll never get the answer you want.
A
female
reader, charlie_butcher +, writes (27 May 2010):
Hi, if your partner loves you, she would call you or such and ask you to come back into her life since she decided to break up with you. If you ask her to come back to you, you could sound needy like you said. If she doesn't want you anymore or can't be bothered to ask you to come back then she doesn't deserve you. I know it's hard but there's plenty of fish in the sea! :)
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