Is his low sex drive because he's no longer attracted to me or because I put off sex sometimes?

A female age 30-35, *rettyandpierced writes:

I have issues with my boyfriend of 7 months. When we first met he was meant to be a one night stand and the sex was amazing. I'd never had any one like him before. He'd took me out on a date that evening, and he made me laugh and I liked him, but I was more interested in having sex with him. He was the one who wanted to see me again, and I couldn't say no. I grew in love with him fast, we went out a lot, we shopped together, ate together, had a great physical relationship. Soon we began living together and everything seemed perfect. Then I had a few personal health problems which affected my libido. I think he took it personally because now he won't touch me! I'm not trying to be big headed here, but I'm not exactly unnatractive, and well I try extra hard to look good for him. He enjoys sex when we do have it, but he hardly initiates it. I feel I'm to blame for being put off for a while, but it was a medical issue. He's become slower in bed and less daring. He doesn't like to fulfill his fantasies, and I think he's embarrassed. I initiated phone sex and he was a blithering wreck. It was a huge turnoff and lately I feel insecure about myself and my affect on him. I also am starting to get turned off by him and although I love him dearly, we have a non-existent sex life and I feel we just seem to be friends. He's 30 and I'm 19, at 30 I can understand some people may want to stop acting like a young loved-up couple, but I'm young and I want that aspect of the relationship.

View related questions: insecure, libido, no longer attracted, one night stand, phone sex, sex drive, sex life

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A female reader, Candycane1234  +, writes (19 June 2012):

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