A
female
age
30-35,
*am_fma3
writes:me and my friend were talking about how her new boyfriebd would be some where with her and she would catch him exchanging eye contact with women. she told me thats a red flag. so recently I have watched my long term boyfriends eyes (been together for 5 years and planning on getting married). I notice he does that. he will exchange eye contact. for a while. im fine with a glance but the eye contact bugs me. I have asked him about it and he denies it. he loves me I know it, but is he thinking of cheating. if I werent there would he advance in more? any insight? is this a red flag? many thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012): i think ur girlfriend has succeeded in making u paranoid' he was probably doing it th first 5 years and you thought nothing of it but because ur girlfriend has told you its a redflag for her it is now going to be a red flag for you and your going to be picking at it now. Please dont, it is probably nothing but is now exaggerated because of your friend.
Everyone has their own set of "redflags" and rules. You have just taken your friends and put it in your checklist and it isnt working.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 When someone talks to you do you look down at your feet or meet their eyes?
Most people will look the other person in the eyes. Same if you enter a room and look around, you might see people wearing a nice shirt or have a cool haircut, nice eyes, a nice smile anything really that makes you eyes stop a few seconds longer then the person next to them. It's a glace basically.
Now if they look at each other and stare ( basically longer then 3-5 seconds) there is usually something about that other person that they find interesting. Doesn't mean they plan on cheating or anything like that.
And if they ogle it's a whole other matter.
If you see a good looking guy, do you look away? Or do you give him a second glance?
Just because people are in a relationship doesn't mean they don't notice other people or go "blind".
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A
female
reader, aam_fma3 +, writes (3 October 2012):
aam_fma3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone!
so when they are exchanging eye contact what does it mean? i guess i am freaking out because i am scared they would act on it.
but from what any said i guess it means nothing right?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): There is a joke floating around about this...
"If you hold eye contact with another person for more than six seconds, you either want to have sex or kill them" Yikes! LOL
Okay, not trying to make light of it. It's normal to make eye contact with someone, but holding onto that eye contact for more than a few seconds, the man's got a wondering eye and it's very disrespectful to you. Tell him to knock it off. Men seem to have this problem more than women do, but it doesn't make it right.
Don't make a mountain out of a molehill, but just talk to him about it and let him know it hurts your feelings or makes you feel uncomfortable and disrespected.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 October 2012):
I don't think so. I look people in the eyes (male and female) and it's NOT because I want to jump their bones.
Eye contact it pretty "normal".
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 October 2012):
 If eye contact is any measure... then that cute little gal who takes tolls at the bridge between here and Ft Myers is in SERIOUS LOVE with me......
This is a "non-question"..... Making eye contact is often just polite interchange.... AND.... AVOIDING eye contact may be taken as IMPOLITE.....
P.S. I've been through this with a woman who thought that eye contact was just short of intercourse!!!!!
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 I don't think that this is anything to worry about to be honest. Eye contact is normal, and i fail to see how this is a red flag, and it certainly does not mean that someone is going to cheat. I sometimes exchange eye contact with people male & Female and i don't even realise im doing it. Its different if he is using eye contact followed by flirtatious touches with lots of smiles. The answer to you question, in my opinion this is not a red flag.
k
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): I think what you've noticed is something natural. People make eye contact all the time, male and female, it doesn't mean its a sign that a person is planning to cheat.
These random people are people that both your boyfriends have never seen before, and probably never will see again. Where's the harm in having a look out of curiosity?
I take it you and your friend don't look at other guys? Maybe its a belief with you and your friend that its wrong to make eye contact with a person of the opposite sex, but the truth is there's nothing wrong in it, and not everybody sees it from your point of view (The boyfriends).
I would however worry about yours and your friends suspicious minds towards your boyfriends. You're both noticing something way too unnecessary in my opinion.
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