A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This guy I'm talking to, we are semi LDR (100-ish miles). We've met once, in person, when we first swapped numbers, have been talking ever since end of 2012, we are planning to meet in a few weeks, this has been confirmed. We have built quite a solid bond over the months that we have been speaking, the more we speak and the more he says, the more I'm able to understand him as a person.He is a very introvert guy, he likes to keep to himself, he's private about a lot of things in his life. He does open up, but it's usually a small amount and in very small doses. It's pretty tricky to get things out of him, he's the type to let things unravel on their own.Now, I know he is quiet, emotional, deep, complex and reserved. Whereas I'm emotional and deep too, but I'm very lively, inquisitive and outgoing, I have things about me that are personal which I don't speak about quickly, but overall I'm very social and talkative, whereas he isn't like that.There are times he does not speak much, because he's either busy or just deep in thought. (He's told me he likes being in a lair of thoughts). His star sign is Cancer, and he has told me he does possess some of the traits of a Cancer man. I do believe in astrology to an extent, because I match my star sign well (Sagittarius)Anyways, yesterday he opened up to me a little about how his mother died when he was 10 years old (he is nearly 22) and how it affected him when he was younger, how it has changed him as a person, and how he feels about it now, and I was not expecting it because I didn't know she had even passed away, I knew he didn't live with her because he told me he lives with his father and younger sister, but I just assumed that his parents had divorced or something.So it was pretty sudden when he said that, and I was sensitive to the situation and did feel really sad when I read what he wrote to me and tried to be comforting towards him.Would you say this is a good sign, as to him opening up? Some people wouldn't think of it as a big deal, but others would feel that it is. I'm just wondering, is it correct for me to think that he likes me enough and trusts me with this information, or am I reading into it? And also, is there any way I can be there for him? I've never actually been in this situation before, I'm nearly 21 years old, so I'm not a teenager, but my experience is quite limited, I've never talked to a guy for this long, so this is pretty new to me. So I'm not sure if the whole 'opening up' is classed as a good sign, in terms of things progressing between us...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 March 2013):
 FWIW I live NINE MILES from my place of employment. most folks don't live much further as traffic around here at rush hour is insane. It can take me an hour to go 9 miles in the morning.... maybe that's why we don't think much of a 2 hour drive to see an SO.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): I agree with most of what "so very confused" has said but, to be fair, 100miles distance in the US is different to 100miles in the uk. (I know that already sounds stupid as I know its the same distance) What I mean is that in the US 100miles is considered local, in the UK its the other side of the country. In the UK we don't have the Freeways or easier local flights for commuters to travel a couple of hundred miles daily. The only time a brit usually catches a flight is to go abroad and yes we have motorways but the average commute to work int he uk is around 12-25 miles with very, very few brit's travelling 100+ to work each day. Having worked in the US a while back I was shocked at how far people travelled to work and to see their family's or partners compared to the UK. Just my two pence worth LOL
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2013):
OP my situation was a bit different in that at the time I met my husband I was married to another man so my now husband was my boytoy on the side (NOT CHEATING but with permission)
The key was we met in August, we met again in November
we were visiting by December
we were getting serious by March (my husband moved out)
and by April we were at every weekend visitation
By december 2011 he gave up his apartment and moved in with me at what is now our home.
I hope your meeting in April goes well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe title for this question is definitely incorrect, I did not want to ask if it was a strong relationship. Just merely if it's a good sign or not. [Mod note: the title has been corrected to use your original suggested title.]So_very_confused, I know you posted an answer in another question of mine how you and your husband met in person in August, and did not see each other until November and then started seeing each regularly.My situation is a little similar in that sense, because I have been talking to him for around the same amount of time.And we have agreed to meet on 3rd week of April
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2013):
Let me start with the fact that 100 miles apart is sometimes a daily commute around here. My husband and I met in person and we were 100 miles apart. That didn’t last long.
As for him opening up to you, stop trying to see things that may or may not be there.
LOOK at ACTIONS….
At 100 miles apart you are a mere two hours by car… that’s NOT MUCH. Why are you two not getting together already on weekends? I know in the beginning it’s slow to get started… for us I would drive to his apartment and visit… first once a month, then twice a month and within 3 months it was every weekend. By month 4 I would go up either on Thursday nights or Friday afternoons and stay till Monday morning and commute 2.5 hours into work that day. We would rather have 3 or 4 nights together and suffer the travel than be apart. THAT’S how you know a man is being open and receptive to you. When he opens his LIFE to you and brings you into his life.
As for being there for him, until you know him (and you don’t really know him yet) there is no way to know what he needs or wants from a partner.
Continue to be yourself and stop looking for clues or signs in his words…. Pay attention to his actions… when has he asked to come see you?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2013):
Let me start with the fact that 100 miles apart is sometimes a daily commute around here. My husband and I met in person and we were 100 miles apart. That didn’t last long.
As for him opening up to you, stop trying to see things that may or may not be there.
LOOK at ACTIONS….
At 100 miles apart you are a mere two hours by car… that’s NOT MUCH. Why are you two not getting together already on weekends? I know in the beginning it’s slow to get started… for us I would drive to his apartment and visit… first once a month, then twice a month and within 3 months it was every weekend. By month 4 I would go up either on Thursday nights or Friday afternoons and stay till Monday morning and commute 2.5 hours into work that day. We would rather have 3 or 4 nights together and suffer the travel than be apart. THAT’S how you know a man is being open and receptive to you. When he opens his LIFE to you and brings you into his life.
As for being there for him, until you know him (and you don’t really know him yet) there is no way to know what he needs or wants from a partner.
Continue to be yourself and stop looking for clues or signs in his words…. Pay attention to his actions… when has he asked to come see you?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 March 2013):
Opening up is so dependant on the person that I wouldn't put much stock in it as being a sign, and I certainly wouldn't expect anyone here to be able to tell you what it means.
Take things slow with this guy because LDR's aren't exactly what most people would consider to be a "real" relationship. Get to know him in person before making any big decisions.
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