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Is he worth it? What have I done wrong?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 March 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ngbreakfast writes:

hey, i really need some good advice...

in short: this guy i was kind of seeing just suddenly stopped calling me but we were fine two days ago and should i call him and talk about this or should i not bother because he's an asshole? i really like him although i haven't known him for long and i've always suspected he was hiding something from me but...

in long: he ticks all the boxes - except that he's a scorpio and i've never ever gotten along with a scorpio before. i'm almost 16 and he's 17. he's the crush of a friend but we hit it off really well. i've always wondered if he actually liked me or if it's because i don't mind talking about sex and going quite far on the first date or that he likes my body etc. we both agreed in the beginning that we're not going be serious but things have changed slightly and he knows i want a relationship but he doesn't so we've discussed this a couple times. i can only see him on weekends because i go to boarding school. i've known him about three weeks now and this weekend i was planning to have sex with him - the first time for both of us, but he doesn't know. i've just started noticing how he wasn't as cheesy and nice to me as he was, i guess. so on wednesday i wasn't going to call him (as he never texts me at school and usually only calls me at night although he claims that's the only time he is free). but obviously, i couldn't help it and called him at about ten thirtyish and we talked for a bit and he tells me that he's tired so he goes to sleep - although he does mention how he's very busy with school and other stuff, i didn't want to look too much into things. the next day, again, he doesn't call me so i call him and he tells me that he's studying for a physics test and we don't really talk. i thought it might be an excuse but again, i didn't want to look into it.

it's friday today and i got very dubious when he didn't call me because we were talking about the weekend previously and he was going to sleepover. so i send a text to him at around eleven, wait about ten minutes, he doesn't reply, so i call him. he doesn't pick up but calls right back and goes, 'hey...did you call?'

'yeah.'

'so...'

'so what are you doing tomorrow.'

'i've got a birthday party, sorry.'

'oh. well, BYE then.'

'bye.'

what have i done wrong? what is his problem? if he was going to break up with me, which he can't because there is nothing to break, but he could at least have the decency to tell me! because right now i'm going to be making all these excuses for him and it'll just be so stupid. i feel so stupid, i was going to have sex with him, and no one breaks up with me - i hate that.

i'm upset and angry and i want to yell at him but i also just want to see him and forget about it and make it all better but do i want a guy that's made me feel awful?

i don't know what to do, please help.

View related questions: crush, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010):

I'm the previous anon poster.NEVER settle, the kind of love u want exists, take it from someone who has had her heart broken MANY times, I'm 30 yrs old. Always be open and love w all your heart and you will find someone that will love you that way back and for who YOU are. JUST OPEN YOUR EYES real good and don't let yourself be a door mat. People only treat you how you teach them to treat you. Never give up...

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A female reader, engbreakfast United Kingdom +, writes (7 March 2010):

engbreakfast is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i've talked to him.

he tells me that his phone was out of battery for three days and that he had a party to go to and that i'm being a bit paranoid. i told him that i was really upset about this and he obviously doesn't really care so bye.

he says that he made it clear that he didn't want a relationship in the beginning and that if i was upset about this then i was obviously taking this more serious than he thought. he just wants to be single.

i'm feeling dreadful and i guess the whole way i just thought he liked me more than that but obviously not. i know i still like him but i'm not going to be with him if it's not a relationship, i've decided. i can't...share him.

thank you for your advice, i'm going to move on and hopefully find someone better one day.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010):

Confront him and tell him how you feel and act according to his answer, DONT have sex with him, even if he changes, watch him a lil more.

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