A
female
age
36-40,
*Egirl03
writes:Okay here is the problem:I am 23 yrs old so this goes back 6 yrs ago. I dated a guy in high school basically all four years - we had rough times, but always wanted to be together. We broke up in 05' - I jumped immediately into a relationship and so did he. At first he wouldn't leave me alone and I would tell him to back off, but then when I found out he got his new gf pregnant, my heart sank. Bad thing is him and I were intimate twice and were talking all day while we both were at our jobs and then not at night because we were home with our bf/gf. BUT she found out about the phone calls and confronted me..yikes, that went over real well b/c it was right after she had their daughter, which I know was wrong on my part. BUT she does not know that we were intimate. Well the relationship I was in went down the drain and i've met someone new, but I find myself thinking of my ex all the time. He has stayed with this girl, and is a great father and is getting married in less than a month but there has been two incidents where he has called me drunk begging to see me, and I made myself hang up because I knew if his girl found out there would be drama,....now all I do is want to talk to him?!?!?! Plenty of people have told me he does not want to get married, he's only doing it for the sake of his daughter. what do I do!??!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): I don't agree with the previous poster.To get married just for the sake of the child is a wrong reason to be getting married.
I would phone him and arrange to meet with him and have a face to face heart to heart chat. That will give you closure and he will probably reconsider if his intended marriage is for the best?
Whatever happens at that meeting and whatever you might both decide, you will have to respect.
I cannot see any reason or harm if the two of you had to meet for a cup of coffee and to talk about these issues.( I would not be to worried about the insecurities of his "wife to be" she is not his wife yet and if he is getting married for the wrong reasons, might not even be, ( or not for too long, if she is already not trusting him).
Good luck girl!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): It is obvious that you have extreme feelings for your ex, however it is also very clear that that he has made a decision to try to do what is right for his daughter. You should try to get over him and allow him to give his daughter that chance.
Perhaps, though, you should call him one last time to let him know that you know he has drunk dialed you on more than one occasion. It is probably not a good idea to ask him why he calls you, but to simply ask him to stop. Although it may be hard, if you can muster the strength, re-congratulate him on his up coming marriage and fatherhood. Besides, this step might help you get over him.
good luck.
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