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Is he with me only for sex?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 March 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

is he just with me for sex?

i've been seeing this guy for about 5 months(im 21 hes 26), we went on a few dates then i started sleeping with him (after about 3 weeks), since then i mostly go round to his, and we always have some form of sex (even when i'm on my period). i don't feel used as i always want it but i'm starting to wonder if he's just with me for sex.

some facts to take into account?

-we see each other about once a week as we're both very busy.

-i have asked him if he is serious about our relationship? to which he said yes.

-every time i suggest him coming to mine he says he feels it's too soon as i live with my parents and siblings.

-he has a young child that he dotes on.

View related questions: live with my parents, period

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008):

Never ignore your intuition. Do you feel like he is using you for sex? Do you go out and do other things? Has he introduced you to his friends? Has he ever met your family? Does he call just to talk sometimes? You need to talk to him about this. Do not keep your feelings and fears to yourself. If he cares for you he needs to know how you are feeling so he can do something to show you he really cares. Words can lie, but actions speak truth. Never ignore actions.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (18 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntTo know that answer, just with hold sex for a few weeks and see how it would affect your relationships.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (17 March 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntWell, if he using you just for sex, he ain't getting a lot out of it. Once a week? Well below average for a couple. Granted you see each other only once a week but because it is so infrequent, having sex every time does not seem unusual especially since you want it as well. Your period doesn't matter if it doesn't matter to either of you.

You asked, he said yes. Offcourse words are cheap.

What are you suggesting when you ask him to come to your place? Does he refuse to meet your family OR is he simply uncomfortable with the idea of sex in your house with family around?

If he is unwilling to meet your family, then yet, he might just be after sex, if he is unwilling to spend the night at your parents house, well that is understandable.

The child at least proves he has no fear of commitment, if he is the primary caretaker. If he is not, well that means a previous relationship didn't work out and he was unwilling to take the role of primary caretaker.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008):

Perception is reality, if you feel he is using you for sex then he is....is there something you want from the relationahip you are not getting? Then tell him. Doesn't sound to me like you are spending any time together not having sex, which really is not the best foundation for a real relationship.....friends first.

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