A
female
age
,
*assy007
writes:Here is a good one. I am 46, been with the same guy for 13 months. We get along so well, but the problem is he isnt in love with me.He has been up and down lately with feelings, and when I bring up what his future plans are he says he doesnt know. He basically doesnt know if I am in them as he hasnt settled alot of stuff in his life yet. He says he loves me in his own way. We had planned on moving in together previously, but that fell apart. I feel as if I am wasting my time with him. I think we all deserve to be loved. I am , or told, that I am a beautiful woman and I dont have a shortage of men asking me out. My guy never tells me I look nice, other women are attractive and he will sometimes tell me, but not to me. It doesnt matter how dressed up I get or what. He has been in relationships that the women were controlling and not very nice to him. I cry alot, and feel that he is only with me cause I am convenient and nice to him. He always tells me he isnt going anywhere. His 19 year old daughter just told him she doesnt like me, nor wants nothing to do with him cause he is with me. I used to get along so well with her, until I stopped letting her monopolize the whole conversation about her. It was always about her. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Hi Andy, I hope this is the way that I reply back. My boyfriends daughter is a very angry young lady who is trying to come between her dad and I. She did not like his last girlfriend, and did actually like me for the longest time. My bf lost his business in the past year, and basically has lost lots. His sister says he is terrified of losing me. I know he should love me after 13 months, and he says he does love me in his own way. I am constantly being asked out by people, but I dont want to go. I do not know how much more time I will give him. He does have alot of triggers from his past relationship. He had lived with someone for five years and she always called him her "roomate" , so when she asked him to leave, he got nothing.......Am I making excuses for him? Not at all, but I do wonder from a mans perspective how long would you give someone?? I know what I have to offer. His whole family likes me, and I do one day want to get married or live with someone, and he doesnt know what he wants.
A
male
reader, AndyS  +, writes (7 October 2007):
If you feel that you are attractive than you have won half the battle. Love can really belittle us at times but you have to gather your courage and move on because nethier the dad or the daughter appreciates you or your companionship.
Depending on how long you have been together, you have to decide if enough time has been given for the relationship to grow. Ok his past experience may have made him a little defensive but that doesn't give him the right to make you suffer as well.
At times we have to sadly give our partners ultimatums to get them thinking about us.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (4 October 2007):
 Hi,
They both sound totally selfish. She must be learning the tricks of the trade from her father.
What astounds me is that you have put up with it. Are you in-love with this man?. I can think of no other reason why you would put up with that rubbish.
Sorry I dont mean to sound uncaring, but you say yourself, you are told that you are beautiful, and you always try to look nice for him. And yet you get that responce.
It makes me so angry, that a man thinks he has the right to make you, or anyone other females in your position, feel like that.
As they say "plenty more fish in the sea"
Kick him to the curb honey XX
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