A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I desprately need your advice. I am engaged to the guy of my dreams but I'm seventeen. we have been together for a while now, eleven months and our love is deep. just recently his mom grounded him and he emailed me on the 16th of last month saying he's grounded for three weeks he said he missed hearing my voice... and he was sad he couldn't call me. well when the three weeks were up I thought he was ungrounded so I called him and his phone was oddly on it was off cuz his mom had it, it rang all that week. well I got very upset thinking he was ignoring me and very paranoid so thoughtlessly I left him a v-mail saying I'm going to break up with you if you don't call me..... I messaged his mother and she told me he's been grounded and she had his phone and is STILL grounded due to his report card for a long time. she also said she let him hear his v-mail and he heard that part what I said about dumping him she said she thought I would like to know.... I feel terrible because i'm sure I hurt him:(( I told his mom I misunderstood the whole thing and he did too. his mom was suppose to talk to him about it and have him message me... so far nothing, she said he would message me on myspace and he hasn't been on but oddly he deleted me on facebook and that hurt my feelings cuz I love him very much.I don't know if I accidently deleted him or he did. do you think he's upset? his mom would of never known what I said if he wasn't crying she's the type of mom to ask het kids what's wrong. he never said. "we're over" but does it mean I hurt him and he's mad? or he dumped me? I have a feeling he's just mad but I'm confused and I need advice:(.... his friends are all oddly adding me on muspace and messaging me... asking about him. idk them. they never did that before.... I think if he dumped me his mom would of said" ok tiffany he said he doesn't want me to say your name anymore I'm sorry". She always told me "I will tell you if my son cheated on you...I raised him better than that. he doesn't cheat" I honestly trust him too I never had that instinct where I think it's another girl because I know he loves me too much I mean I'm wearing the kids ring so I know deep down it's not another girl. my friends are telling me he didn't leave me he's just hurt nd he will come back. I don't want to let go because my heart is telling me he's the One. We felt it since day one. why would he delete me? he kept my voicemails on his cell I checked them last night since he gave me his code a while ago. they are saved. if he hated me and wanted me out of his life wouldn't he have deleted everything and deleted me off his myspace too? and said something? What do I do? It's not like I can walk to his house, I live in Florida nd he's in california but we're so in love and believe we can make it, I don't see myself with anyone but him, we're supposed to get married after we graduate. he's fifteen could it be something to do with his emotional maturaity? please help!!!!!!!!!! I don't want this to end.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 November 2009):
It has to do with his emotional maturity. He's 15. There's a whole lot of growing up to do for him still. It doesn't help that this is a long distance relationship and that he is still a minor. Have you ever met in real life?
There are too many strikes against this LDR for it to stand a good chance of lasting. Sorry, it takes a great deal of work, maturity, understanding, communication skills and patience.
You have to realize that when you say you are engaged to a 15 year old who lives in another state that it sounds very much like a teenage fantasy, so you're going to get this kind of reaction from the older people who have been through relationships and who remember what it was like to be 15 and 17. Getting too serious now at this age is difficult in the best of circumstances; you have so many things working against you.
If he's not willing to work it out, there's not a lot you can do about it. Life is about timing, and sometimes it works against you. Sounds like the situation here.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): I know how u feel,i'm having a long distance relationship also so i know how it feels 2 think u know that the person u love will mot cheat on u or is still in love with u ,but if theres anything i do know ,it's that sometimes u have 2 give guys time(sometimes a lot of time)maybe u should have thought twice about telliing him if he doesn't call u,u will break up with him,cuz guys don't realy like relationship threats.so 4 now just hold it together n u'll get though this or u might just find someone new n u won't fell preasured like me aabout having a long distance relationship. *baby n*
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat doesn't help.....I'm 17!!!!WTF just turned 17
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (15 November 2009):
He is engaged to you and him Mum grounded him? He is 15! He is only a kid, still wet behind the ears, and for you to get yourself engaged to a mere boy who's mummy can ground says to me you arent very much more mature yourself.
You need to grow up a bit before you start thinking about engagements and marriages and happy ever after, because until you do, your happy ever afters will always end in tears.
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