A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Dr. Cupid,I'm in a real sticky situation. I'm seperated from my husband and i have been seeing this guy (best friend) for about 4+ months now. We see eachother 2-3 times per week. We have the best time when we are together and he did tell me he was in love with me about 3 months into our relationship. However, when i felt i was ready to tell him i loved him too he backed off a little. I'm now feeling our relationship is all about sex. We do have amazing sex but when i didn't see him for a week he missed me like crazy, texting me the nicest things saying how much he missed me. When i saw him after the week was over we had sex and I went on my way. It felt weird but i feel we are definitely friends with benefits even after how much he's told me he loves me. We are not together and we really don't hang out with each other's friends we just hang out with each other. I dont know what to do? Please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Some people use the word love when they really mean like. Its best to ask him to define love. It might be that he just likes you alot but is backing off a bit because he thinks you are getting too serious and he doesnt want to go there with you.He is probably enjoying the fwb and doesnt want it to end. Texting ect when hes not with you could be his way of making sure he stays in your mind but only in your mind, not your life. Have a frank chat and clear up any mistaken ideas you may be receiving because of the way he spoke to you about love.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): It sounds like he has become intimate with you, but he doesn't know exactly what that means or what he's doing. So he thinks it still makes sense for him to back off from a commitment. Essentially, he's using both you AND himself. Weird, huh?
Make him confront the idea of intimacy he has already built with you, and see what he does. You'll have to find out eventually anyway.
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