A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So here I am..on a website asking kind strangers for advice :) I apologize for the length. Even if no one responds, I'll at least be able to see my thoughts in writing.We were smitten with each other right away. After about 3 weeks of constant texting and dates and cuddling and great sex, I went through something in my personal life that caused me to have to move in with a friend to live on her couch for a few weeks. During that time, it was hard to find time to be alone with him. His sweet daily text messages stopped and it made me paranoid. Because my life was in such an upheavel, I started feeling self-conscious. We went away for a weekend to be alone, the sex was selfish on his part and when we were at dinner, I just didn't feel a spark. We stopped having lengthy conversations and I truly felt like I bored him. I tried to talk to him about how I was feeling but he was adament that "We're fine. Everything's fine." He was constantly on his phone texting. He walked several feet away from me wherever we went and looked at other women. We had planned for a date that Wednesday and he texted me during the day and cancelled. He said "something came up." I called bullshit on it and told him that I couldn't go on feeling like I annoyed him. He wrote me back and said "If that's the way you feel, I'd best be leaving then. You're a good woman, but if I make you feel that way then this won't work." I asked if he had any interest in trying to make it work and he said "Because of what you said and some personal things I can't commit to you right now." I realize now that I was willing to work on something that was failing and unhealthy.I respected his wishes and left him be and realized I deserved so much better. I eventually moved on and briefly dated someone else (which ended quickly) Well... he sent me a text one day while I was at work telling me to have a good day. Although I shouldn't have responded I did. We ended up going on a date..This is where I'm not proud of myself. I invited him back to my house and we had sex. The physical chemistry was instantly back and he just kept kissing me on the forehead and playing with my hair. We laid in bed for an hour just talking and giggling. He continued texting me throughout the next few weeks and it was as if nothing changed and he was very interested. He was supposed to meet my friend and I out the night before Thanksgiving but he decided he didn't want to wait in the 20 minute long line to get in. I was very upset and drunk so I responded with "I think it shows a lot about you that you're not willing to wait in line 20 minutes to see me" some more expetives and then "I know I need to stay emotionally distant or you'll get spooked and run away.. but to be honest, I was looking forward to seeing you tonight." and then I used some more expletives. He apologized a lot and then said "Please don't hate me." He texted me and said he wasn't spooked at all and that he really did want to see me blah blah. Anyways, we made plans to hang out Friday and he couldn't find anyone to babysit.. which I believe because he had him this weekend. I was sad but he's a good dad and very dedicated to his 11 year old son. Well to my surprise, we talked yesterday and he invited me to dinner with him and his son.... I had never met his son before and he is very protective over who meets him. It turned out to be a nice dinner. He brought up Wednesday night though and was adamant about me knowing that HE decided he didn't want to wait in line to see me and that his friends tried to get him to wait but he didn't want to. Other than that, we had a good chat. He walked me to my car and kissed me good night while his son was playing an arcade game. What are his intentions?? Does he plan on getting serious with me? Is he trying to show me that he's not spooked? Or is meeting his son not a big deal to him? I'm so afraid that I'm going to interpret his intentions to be more serious than they are and his lips are sealed when it comes to discussing our relationship.
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male
reader, soon567 +, writes (29 November 2010):
First you need to develop a relationship. If I would ask him about you, his answer would diff than what you're thinking. When a guy sleeps with you some kind of way you see it as dating. You don't see it for what it really is (sex).
You should focus on getting to know them fully dressed. Its very hard to be in-love with someone in such a sort span of time. Fucking is good, but spending quality time is better.
Oh I wouldve never brought you over to see my son so soon, I bet his little mind stay on his mom.
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