A
female
age
36-40,
*oppy29
writes:Dear cupid. I was seeing a guy last year for a couple of months. I fell for him. Was completely head over hills. We spoke all day every day and saw each other as much as possible. He was over here temporarily for work. We both knew it would be short lived and it was meant to he quite casual. But we couldn't deny our feelings. He was typically quite closed off but he really opened up to me. He even wrote me a letter telling me how amazing and beautiful I am and to never change for anyone etc. He spoilt me rotten and made me feel beautiful and amazing everydayHe went home for a visit and never came back. I was devastated: to not even get to say goodbye. We spoke every few days at first and he kept saying he wasn't sure when he would be back yet. He stopped responding to my messages and eventually got back in touch and said he was really sorry for not giving me a chance and that he needed to put some distance between us coz he kept thinking about me and had to move onHe told me he missed me and was proud of me for things I had achieved (I was going through some stuff ) he also said he was back with his exHe messages me once every few weeks when he is after some fun. Asks me for pictures etc.. After a couple of times I distanced myself and as soon as I did he started using old pet names for me. It really messed with my head. I felt like it was deliberate. He hadn't used those names since before he left.He never shares info (I don't know if he is with this girl or not ) and he never asks any questions about my love life. The last few times he messaged me he has told me he is struggling for work again and may have to travel again..maybe back here.But when a friend of mine asked him he said he wasn't coming backI know I should forget about him. I'm not young. I'm nearly 30, but completely hung up still.I feel like a love sick teen.Is he trying to keep me on the back burner? Am I being strung along in attempt to stop me moving on or am I plain reading the situation wrong ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2017): I am sorry to say, but I think he is using you for sex and/or sexting. He told you he has gotten back with his ex, and, truth be told, maybe they were never really broken up. Perhaps that is why he never did return after he told you he would travel back...you know that he lies, so I would think you realize he is with someone else.
He definitely sounds like a player. I think you were taken in by his flattering letters, and now he wants the sext pics, etc. while he has fun with his woman and other women all around the world on his travels.
Open your eyes, he is not who you thought he was!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 February 2017):
 I don't think he is keeping you on the back burner as such, I think he is playing games with you and wanting attention from you. He completely ghosted you when he went home, no doubt because he knew he still had feelings for someone else and wanted to make it work. I know this is tough on you. He sounds like a player. He knows you have feelings for him so he is using this to his advantage to get some attention and fun from you. My advice? End all contact. He is playing mind games, and all he is going to keep doing is hurting you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2017): Yes sweetie you are. Either ask him straight out whether he's single and ready for a relationship with you, face to face. But my inkling tells me that he's playing you, getting an ego boost from knowing that someone is pining for him. Block him, get some distance so you can move on.
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