A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there,I know this guy from work, let's call him "C". I've worked with his for just over 18 months. When i started my new job "C" had worked there for about a month and was really quiet, despite this we got really well as i was quite shy too and was a "new" employee. He had a girlfriend of 2 years at this point so we used to talk about his relationship and other subjects, after about 2 months he called me his best friend, which i was really pleased about. This was all great until another guy that i work with "T" got involved, he was a male slut, who was arrongant and full of himself. After a few months "c" and "t" were going out alot in town etc etc, this put pressure on "C"'s relationship and it ended badly. "C" was devasted and even cried, this made me upset to see someone i thought was strong break down. But after that day he brighten up and started going out again and sleeping with loads of different women, which worried me as he was to good to do things like that. I feel like "t" was influencing him, "c" began to get closer to me, physically. We made out at a works party and have had other encounters. No sex though. But know "c" has started picking at things about my appearance, like me weight etc, which makes me feel awful as i was bullied as a child. It's not that i'm fat now but i am still sensitive about it.Why is he doing this to me?Is he treating me mean to keep me keen?Help!
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 If he is treating you mean to keep you kean, this it is a game you don't want to play. He sounds like an immature boy who will sacrifice your reputation at work. He is definately not your friend and if I were you I would tell him that your friends do not make snide comments on your weight and that you feel he has changed and you'd prefer if he kept his distance.
You are in a work setting and the last thing you need is this guy putting your name on the line for what will most likely be a fling for him. No man is worth that. Please have a little more respect for you. You deserve better.
A
female
reader, Miss-Blonde +, writes (4 March 2008):
Hmmm, talk to him and say something like "whats wrong with you, you've changed since you've been hanging round with "T" your not the guy i used to be best friends with anymore..."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Well he is being disrespectful is what he is being and don't put up with it, tell him you may be fat but you can lose weight but ugly doesn't wash off....or something along those lines.
I am tired of this C and T stuff (kidding) but T is not influencing C to go and sleep with a bunch of different women, C's little unit is doing his thinking for him and now since you are so comfortable he is targeting you.
I would not go there with this guy from work, he is going to use you and then dump you as he is on the rebound from his 2 year relationship, then after you have developed feelings for him, he is going to act all smug and you will have the pleasure of seeing him continue to flaunt other women in your face.....Give him his freedom to do what ever he wants, he has to crash and burn on his own.
As for making comments about you weight while physically seducing you he is eroding your somewhat shakey self esteem to control you, if he makes you feel bad and he knows you will like him, he wants to see how hard you will try or how high you will jump just to be with him. Don't play that game, he will lose respect for you...tell him you just want to be work friends and nothing more.
Him telling you that you are his best friend is another line of bs, best friends are not made at work rarely and never in the span of a couple of months.
He sounds like a jerk to me, but I never met him.
I am not impressed, he has not asked you out on a date, but he has the nerve to make out with you at a work party where everyone can gossip the next day about the two of you, seems he is trying to get something for nothing and be seen as a stud by all of the other fellows, so he thinks, moronic creep!
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