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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Okay, I need your advice to keep from feaking out the b/f anymore than I already have...So I'm a 24 year old woman dating a 20 year old who appears quite serious about me. We've been dating for 2 years and we've had our ups and downs, but we're still very committed to one another and love each so very much. It's assumed we'll be together for a long time, and he has no problem talking/dreaming about a future for us. The thing is I'm more or less at the age of thinking about a ring of finger (so many of friends are talking weddings plans, getting engaged, etc. etc.) I got engaged at 5 years ago (didn't work out) and now I am starting to think that way again. In the back of my mind, I want to start the whole process because I feel deep down, I want to have children more than anything in the world. I adore kids like you have no idea. I really, really would rather NOT wait until I'm in my thirties. I don't know what it is about needing to start a family in my twenties, but I guess the thought of starting a famiy in my thirties feels like doom. It's seriously like I sense my biological clock ticking away. Now I have no idea when or if my younger boyfriend will be thinking the same way as me (in terms of engagement). Do you think there is hope? Is 23-25 too young for a man to get married? Do you think it will ever happen?I know you can't put a timeline to your life because nothing is for certain, and sometimes things just happen in their own time. However the fact that he's younger with somewhat different goals really makes me wonder what I'm doing sometimes, especially when having a family sooner than later is something that's strangely, but really important to me. It crosses my mind way too much and it makes me worry.Any input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Speaking from personal experience, I certainly wasn't ready to even begin contemplating marriage at the age of 24, much less 20. Like many, I was still in college at the age of 20, so starting a family and settling down wasn't even remotely on my mind. Even now, at 29, I have no interest in starting a family. If my girlfriend and I decide to settle down together and start a family after we've established ourselves financially, then so be it. There's certainly no rush, though. To be honest, I know very few men (or women) my age who are ready to get married and start families. Those that have gotten married have done so solely for religious reasons.
If you love each other so much, then just spend some time enjoying each other. You're only 24, after all. You're still a kid, yourself. You have plenty of time to have children. This is the only time in your life where you can devote all of your attention to your significant other, though. Don't be in such a rush to end that. Celebrate your relationship: travel together and enjoy your young lives. Once you begin having children, all of that ends... and you'll never get that time of your life back.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): There are no guarantees in life. Some friends i know married in their early twenties and are still happily married with family.
The only way to find out is to ask him.
If he says yes without hesitation your on to a winner.
Positive thought, if you think you will fail you will.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (12 May 2008):
 Hi there,
Well are you a betting lady you has a lot of luck? I would suggest you would need it. If you are going to put this proposal to a 20 year old boy, I would figure maybe 5% of males would be positive in their reactions - about 70% will turn and run for the hills - the rest ? who knows , they'd probably freeze stock still.
Sorry, I dont mean to make light of your situation, but realistically a 20 year old boy is highly unlikely to be keen to tie himself to kids,house,mortgage etc so early in life. Give him another 5 years , then maybe.
Alternitively, find someone who is looking to start a family - at 24 , you'll have plenty of takers.
in any event , if you want to settle down sooner rather than later its best to let him know now, for both of your benefits.
good luck, anyway.
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