A
female
age
30-35,
*if3sucks
writes:Hey there,So i have quite the problem here and i would really like some opinions on what i should maybe do.Ok so my bf and i have been dating for a little over three months now and i honestly love him so much and have fallin hard for him, i stay the night at his place on weekends he lives 20 min away from my town. Well yesterday i got told for a few people that he has been cheating on me with this girl he had a thing with before he met me. And yes about a month and a half ago i caught him that he has been texting her some naughty text mess. and asking for pics from her...He sat down with me when i found out and said that he didnt know why he did it and he feels really bad and loves me and will never ever do it again so i gave him a 2nd chance...well now that its been a month and a half later im now here these rumors that he has been hooking up with her a few times well i sat down with him and talked to him about it and held on to me and told me that he would never make that mistake again and that he loves me so much and that he doesnt talk to her or hang out with her anymore...i just dont know what to do he sounds like he is telling the truth and i want him to be i love him so much, but he could be a good lier too i just really dont know what to do, i honestly dont want to end things cuz he could be telling the truth, i have no proof that he did do it.so what does everyone think about this situation? please help me out thanks much!
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female
reader, lif3sucks +, writes (13 July 2010):
lif3sucks is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you that honestly does help...and yea its very hard expecially since he lives 20 min away and i dont know what goes on when im not over there...i sit here every day crying and in pain and i dont even know when ill be going over to his place again but when i do i hope i have enough strength to tell him what i know and to gather my things and leave. But i dont know if i will :(
A
female
reader, JADEYSPADEY93  +, writes (13 July 2010):
Okay, I have been in this situation before and I will give you a quick run-through which may hopefully give you some idea's of what to do.
When I was with my boyfriend for eleven months, he got close with one of my friends, who I don't speak to anymore, for obvious reasons. I thought their relationship was 'just friends'. I saw him texting her, and thought it was nothing. Shortly, a rumour followed that they were hooking up, again I ignored it. Then, the girl herself told me the truth, they had been sleeping together. I confronted him, just like you did, and he sat me down and told me honestly all that happened. I refused to talk to him for months. And all the time I wasn't talking to him, he left me letters, flowers, hampers with my favourite food inside on my doorstep and apologised everyday, even if i swore at him and hit him. After three months, we became friends. And then we became lovers again, and it's made us stronger.
I know it's hard, you don't want to let go of a relationship that seemed so good. But you need to ask yourself, has he done anything that makes you think he won't do it again? Rumours like these are often proven to be true, and you could end up looking like a fool. If he hasn't put any effort in since the first time you confronted him, there's a good feeling his feelings haven't changed at all, for you or for her and that isn't going to turn out good.
In your shoes, I'd tell him to get lost for a while. If he comes crawling back and puts effort into proving it to you for a LONG period of time, NOT straight away, tell him exactly where he stands in your life, and how he'll have to build that trust again before you can become anymore then friends.
If he doesn't try, he doesn't care and neither should you.
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