A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I really need advise, I can't stop thinking about this guy.I've known him and have been out with him and apparently he says we are still together.He lives elsewhere now since leaving for a job. and we havent really seen each other. We speak or text every couple of days on the phone.Yet I'm sure he's with somebody else,which everytime I ask him about it.He denies it, saying no he's not. He talks about coming back down to live with me, and wants to come on holiday with me but this never happens.I feel lonely all the time never stop thinking about him,even in bed I think about him and hate him not being here.If haven't spoken for a couple of days he gets back in touch with me. The other day he rang me. This was Tuesday just to hi etc,He said I never sent email about holiday. I said he needs to come down.I've texted and rang since then and have heard nothing back from him... What do I do? I miss him like mad, but with him saying all this makes me think he still likes me somewhere along the line
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 March 2015):
 talk is cheap... actions are important.
He's not what you want or need and he keeps you on his string in case his real life does not pan out.
Don't call him, text him, email him or facebook him.
In fact, I would not respond to him at all. just IGNORE HIM totally.
if this hurts you too much you need to block him and then grieve the loss of this pretend relationship so you can move on.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 March 2015):
 YOU are chasing him... but HE seems not to give a damn about YOU?????
WHY perpetuate his charade?????
Dump him, and get on with your REAL life...
Good luck..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 March 2015):
 Oh, he is SO stringing you along.
I bet you every time you seem to have doubts about the two of you he bring up things like visiting, moving back down, vacations, spending time, ya-da,ya-da the things he KNOWS you want to hear. That THAT in turn makes you stick it out a while longer. All the while YOU are being faithful and not sleeping around - do you know for sure he doesn't HAVE a GF up there?
And the when YOU try and contact him, he doesn't respond? Not a good sign either.
My advice, ADMIT that what you had is no longer. You can SIT around on your hand and WAIT for him to maybe, perhaps decide to move closer and actually BE with you - or you can DECIDE that you are NOT getting ANYTHING out of this relationship as it stand and end it. Then cut the contact and move on.
I mean there are NO plans for him to move. THERE are NO plans for him to spend time with you. There are no PLANS, just a whole lot of empty promises.
And you are supposed to just sit, grow older and wait for him?
GET out there and LIVE your life. Spend time with family and friends while your heart mends. Go on VACATIONS with friends/family. Met new people, DO things you always wanted to do. LIVE your life for you. And who knows maybe some guy who ACTUALLY WANTS to be with you pops up in your life and you in his.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 March 2015):
 You are not still together. He is just keeping you on the back burner if things don't work out in his current situation.
Hi all, I really need advise, I can't stop thinking about this guy.
I've known him and have been out with him and apparently he says we are still together.
Don't waste your time thinking about him. Instead get out there and do some good things for you.
Trust your hunches. You are probably correct.
He offers you undefined carrots for sometime in the future.
promises, promises, promises.
If a holiday is what he wants then he can check out where. and when and how much.
He said he needs to visit you, but he doesn't.
You deserve to be more than a fall back position where you are only offered promises but nothing happens.
Enrich your life with more. Meet some genuine nice people closer to home. Volunteer for something locally based. Join a group nearby to learn a new skill.
find out some free events on soon in your area.
Catch up with some old school friends from the past.
Arrange to meet one or more for lunch to catch up.
Do not rely on him because he's already proved that he is just smoke and mirrors.
A better guy awaits you when you are ready. And to get you in the mood think about a new hair cut. Clear out any items of clothing you have not worn for 2 years.
Join a gym.
Offer to walk a neighbour's dog in the park
don't be home when he calls. Turn your phone off after 8pm
Be nice to you
Get out and live life and you will not be lonely anymore.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2015): If there EVER was a situation created for NO Contact, this is IT. (I normally don't support no contact,but I'll in this case)
CUT him OUT of your life and move on.
Right now you're "hanging in there" which is MORE painful to you,coz you still expect him to come etc.
Don't delude yourself and don't listen to his words but look at his ACTIONS.
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