A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'd really appreciate anyone's feedback on this... my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. It's been great, but I've lost a tremendous amount of self-confidence as a result of his 'performance', if you know what i mean....I know this might sound silly. But I had a a fair few boyfriends before I met him and consider myself fairly experienced; he only had one girlfriend for two months or so and wasnt at all experienced. When we first became intimate, he was so nervous that sex was a techinical impossibility. And though things have gotten a lot better, I dont have much confidence in myself any more. I am always the giver in the bedroom, never the receiver...I've hinted and asked many times to try new things or whether he might do things for me, but he doesn't. He expresses dislike and disinterest whenever I ask him what he thinks of pleasuring me. It doesnt matter whether or not I enjoy sex, as long as he does! I've come to the conclusion that he doesnt find me attractive enough to 'please', but am I wrong? Is he being selfish? Or am I not being understanding enough? Could he still be nervous about underperforming, after so long?Thanks for your help! =)
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female
reader, cd206  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 He might be being selfish or maybe he's running scared. Basically it's not fair if you have to do everything in the bedroom and he has to overcome those fears. Talk to him. Ask him if the reason he doesn't pleasure you is because he doesn't want to or because he doesn't know how. If it's the latter tell him you'll teach him. If it's the former however he's being selfish and you're better off without. Before you finish it though you could start withdrawing all your pleasuring services and see if that makes him a little more receptive to trying new things!
CD
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007): Ok, if he wont perform and make you happy, make him!
Give him a warm bath, with rose pettles or somthing, wear something 'delicious'. Get him to do things, make him ready to go and try new things, get him i the bedroom.
But dont worry, boys are imbrassed to say stuff, he maybe worried he ist good eoug and hasn't got enough confidentyet with you, but show too him you love being and spending personal time in the bedroom together. Afterthe session, tell him 'wow, yur the best and hug him and kiss him' tha'll gethis confodence up loads and he'll ant to do it again ad again...
But make sure he is enjoying it, pleasure him for a bit and him plessure you, both of you will enjoy it. Hope this help you =] Dave.
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