A
female
age
36-40,
*Import
writes:I just wanted an opinion here. I have been with my boyfriend for four months. Two weeks ago he broke up with me because he was stressed out over things that were going on in his life. At that time he had told me that he wanted to still be friends and to treat him like any other friend. However, the last couple days he has seemed to be coming back around to me. He would talk to me like he would when we were together. He admits that he still loves me. I saw him last night and we watched a movie in his room. He held me, he kissed my head, and we made out like we would. He is not the type of guy to play games or mess with someone’s head. He is true. It appears to me that he is slowly coming around again. I havn't asked him what he's thinking cause I dont want to scare him away haha..but I can see he is coming around slowly. As a week ago, he just wanted to be friends. By the way, we have a really strong bond. Any opinions?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 March 2009):
 Just take it slowly and see what develops, no pressure.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): Well dear, I don't think he sounds like a horrible person but he also doesn't sound like he's very emotionally mature. He was probably feeling some vague decline in interest - maybe you were too "available" and he wanted to get back his feeling of freedom for a while, then realized he wanted you in his life too. The fact is, he took out his emotional immaturity on you and your heart! That is a really selfish way for him to treat you.
In my opinion, you could probably very easily get this guy's attention back by acting indifferent,leaning back and letting him do all the work - for some reason this formula seems to work with certain men. BUT, if you want to be able to express your feelings, have a close relationship and not worry about whether he's going to shy away again, I'd dump him and tell him you can't get serious about someone who can't figure out what he wants.
Matter of fact, I'd bet that showing him you don't put up with that crap and that you can live without him will make him fall in love with you even more. Just keep your cool, keep it unemotional and practical and express your feelings like a grown up and you'll encourage him to do the same...hopefully:) If he doesn't rise to the occasion, he's not worth wasting your youth!
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