A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm texting a guy who is 9 yrs older than me we've only met once and both admitted there was a strong chemistry we are planning to meet but he seems to be coming across maybe a bit too strongly. Like he's alway saying that we are pointless talking but then gets so excited and doesn't shut up when we plan to meet and has hinted at hotel rooms and my flat but says not for sex. What do I say? I'm a virgin and really like him although he doesn't know I'm a Virgin and that I've never had a serious relationship I've told him no sex until we know each other better so is he rushing me because he wants to bed me?
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male
reader, dougbcoll  +, writes (6 February 2014):
 It should be a warning sign to you already if you are posting on here about him wanting to rush into bed with you. You already have warning flags going up in your mind.Use caution with this guy he is 9 years older than you. You have never met him and he is talking your flat, or motel room. If he gets what he wants he more than likely will be on to the next girl to take advantage of.Sounds like he is not interested in a relationship but to bed you and off to the next conquest. He will more than likely tell you what you want to hear, so he can get what he wants. Yes more than likely he wants to bed you. My advice, stay away from this one and find a nice guy.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2014):
 yes all he wants is to bed you.
a man who is interested in you as a person wants to spend time with you IN PUBLIC... to talk (in a coffee shop or diner is nice) to show the world he is with you.
Any man who EARLY on wants to meet at his place or your place or a hotel room or even just sit in a car is only after one thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2014): Being alone with a guy in a hotel can lead to temptation and a lot of guys use that as a way to say, "We will just talk, or we could watch a movie." That's when they make their move. I am much older than you and I'm in a long distance relationship and he told me he would like me to come back to his hotel room, but I told him that I don't feel comfortable with that and we should just go out in a public place. I would like to talk privately with him, so we will have to find a place that is quiet and private but with a few people around like the mall or a small coffee shop. As you get to know someone you will see signs that they are just interested in sex. The most obvious is when they talk about it constantly. Like Honeypie said, always tell someone where you are when you go on a date. Just
be cautious and careful.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 February 2014):
 You've never had a serious relationship so you may not be able to recognize when a guy is just looking for a hookup.
A guy who is interested in getting to know you for a relationship will not hint at hotel rooms and your flat.
If you have had to say to him via text that there will be no sex until you get to know him better and all he does is hint at hotel rooms and your flat, then you are wasting your time with him.
I think texting may be a great way to flirt and connect, but only with a guy you know already, a guy you trust. This guy has not earned your trust or your time, for that matter.
You deserve better. I don't care if he is older and seems very cool. He's wasting your time.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 February 2014):
 I agree, I think sex is definitely his motivation.
You DO NOT meet up at a hotel room to "chat" - you can do that at a coffee-shop, a park bench, over a nice lunch or dinner.
You met up in public places, you make sure someone KNOWS where you are and who you are meeting and then you CALL and check in with that friend when the date is over or midway through the date AND at the end.
YOU have to realize that part of what's going on between you two is fantasy. UNTIL you really know the guy. And despite all the "chatting" you can do via text it REALLY can not make up for spending time together (again NOT alone and not at your home or a hotel room.)
USE common sense.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2014): It sounds to me like he's after sex. You don't meet up in a hotel room to chat. I would be very careful if i were you.
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