A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:so me and a guy have been talking for a long while. i am 19 now, we've been talking since i was sixteen. i went out once with a group of friends and he is a friend of theirs, he just showed up and we had never met before. he showed up, greeted me specifically, and later on contacted me on social media. we connected over common taste in music and stuff like that and grew close. i always thought we had a romantic nature to our friendship. once he said to me 'i know i have a lot of competition' and we've been out to the movies once (back when we first met, he asked me out after we spoke some more) and then for a bit we didn't go out. a long while actually. he lives in another city for college, it's a two hour drive away and he comes back on weekends, but it's busy/difficult/etc. then he recently asked me to dinner again and i finally accepted.iwas so nervous that we juts went to a drive thru at my insistence. although he wanted real dinner. i apologized and told him that i honestly get freaked out at these things because i think i may have some kind of commitment issues, so that's why i get anxious if we try to have super formalized dinners and stuff and he said that was okay. this was a few months ago and it was great and when i saw him i stopped being anxious. i realized that i could do dinner, icould commit to that because i do genuinely like him.on new years eve he asked me out again but i was traveling at the time, so we took a raincheck. our birthdays are around new years and within a week of each other, mine is first, when he wished me he called and said a bunch of sweet things about me being super important in his life and him being glad he met me. i was really touched and i took the opportunity to say that i feel the same and that we can do dinner now because i definitely WANT to, even if it does make me a little anxious sometimes. but because i was traveling, we took a raincheck.now it's been a while and i brought it up two-three weeks ago, but the day i picked was the day he was going out of town, so we rainchecked again. now i want to ask him again, but i feel like...maybe he should? he hadn't texted me in a while an di hadn't texted him because i wanted to see if he would text me. but he didn't, so the other day i just dropped him a line.and the conversation seemed weird. i understand he's busy in school as i am too. but it seemed strangely formal. i just don't know where we're headed now. i have no idea what's going on. can someone just give me an idea? i do intend to ask him where this is headed (because i honestly see us as endgame lol possibly like if things work out, but you never know, i just know we're possibly compatible for that) but i wanted to ask him that face to face over dinner or something. but i don't even know how to ask him to dinner again because i just don't want him to reject me too badly...and yet he isn't bringing it up again.i think he's afraid of rejection too, but sometimes i try and it seems like he's rejecting me as well?! just now we spoke and he mentioned he hadn't tried a restaurant i recommended yet, and i said oh do you want to go? and he said 'nah'... my original idea had been to say okay then let's go, you and i, but as you can see that didn't happen.so now what?! can an outside party at least give me an idea of what he's thinking about before i think about what to do?
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male
reader, Roboaxe  +, writes (3 February 2016):
 You've made your opinion clear. He will ask you out again if he is interested. Don't press the issue or it will make him think you are desperate for his attention.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2016): I hate to say it but it sounds as though he has either changed his mind or has met somebody else. I'd back off if I were you.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 February 2016):
 You both seem to back off and then on again. Am sure he is as confused as you are. If you are left feeling like he is not making an effort then maybe this ship as sailed. Maybe he has met someone new. Or maybe he has grew tired of trying.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (2 February 2016):
 As you are posting using the flag of the Arab Emirates I would advise you to think carefully about your behaviour with this man. I'm certain it would be frowned on. The culture of behaviour between men and women is different in your country as you must be well aware. I believe you should be a lot more circumspect in the way you conduct yourself. There are very severe penalties for any improper behaviour or impropriety in many Muslim countries.
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