A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I apologize for the long drawn out question but I like to start at the beginning so it's easier to understand. I have been talking with a male coworker for the past couple of months, he does have a girlfriend. We email back and forth at work, text, and sometimes we talk on the phone. We talk about everything, his relationship, (I'm separated) my kids, work, etc. He asked me about a month ago if I could picture myself with a guy like him and I said yes I could but he has a girlfriend. He said 'I know, I was just seeing what you would say'. We keep talking and flirting and he's even taken me out for lunch. So I return the question to him and ask if he is interested in me. He says yes for long term, but no for a one night stand. This past weekend he was having problems with his girlfriend and he was talking to me about it and he was very upset. I tried to help him and I never spoke bad of his girlfriend. He said he might end it. Then he broke off the communication with me. Monday at work, I didn't hear from him so I emailed him and asked if everything worked out and he said yes it did. Then he emailed and said that he would like to remain friends with me but does not want another girlfriend. So I guess my question is this, is he really interested? Was he even interested to begin with? I don't want to come between him and his girlfriend but I really like him.
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at work, co-worker, flirt, has a girlfriend, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust want to post an update here. When I had gone to work Monday, we never spoke, there was a little tension there. It turns out that he asked his girlfriend to marry him on the weekend (another coworker told me). I gave him a few days tell me himself, instead he just asked why I wasn't emailing him. To that, I gave no answer lol. I finally just emailed him and said that our conversations were inappropriate and that he led me to believe there was something more and that we should just remain professional. I also congratulated him on his engagement. He apologized for leading me on and told me that he really wasn't sure three weeks ago that he wanted to be with her but now he is. So be it.....it is what it is and I won't come between that. I wished him well and ended the friendship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank everyone who gave me advice regarding my question,"Is he really interested"? I think I already knew what everyone was saying, I just needed to hear it from somebody else, so I do thank all of you!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): The first question you should be asking is are YOU really intrested? Why would you be? Has it ever acured to you they might be fighting about his friendship with you? You may like that sort of attention, Im sorry if you view yourself and others with so little regard. It's selfish. He may not be specking with you because she has put her foot down and has let him know she will only be treated with respect. Good for her if that's so. And to add to this a bit. He is having trouble in his relationship. You clearly stated this, it's a fact. He wants to know their is someone else to go to in case. That's it. Do the right thing lady, you have no business there...... None
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): Take what he said seriosly:he has a girlfriend, and he doesn't want another one. that's it, end of story
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 July 2010):
Come on. Wake up. He has a girlfriend. That's a good enough reason not to pursue this. You're being set up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): Lady, he has a girlfriend!! That makes him unavailable - that means he cuddles/has sex & is emotionally involved with someone else!! have some heart towards the other woman! Let him figure out his relationship alone without your input. Once he's single its a different story, but he's not! He might be doing alot of the flirting and communication with you, but you're allowing it. The fact that he was upset over issues in his relationship shows that he's emotionally (for the good and bad) invested there and NOT with you. You were just an ear to vent his frustrations to - she is the one he made up with, had make-up sex with and said 'i love you' to. Have some self-respect and act with propriety!
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A
male
reader, Markus123  +, writes (1 July 2010):
He's got a gf! if something happens w/you, it will happen naturally. For what he told you, he might have been interested in you and he is probably interested, but probably they are working in making his relationship work. Why destroy prematurely his relationship? I think you should let it be and maybe something will happen in the future when he is ready. People can think better when they are left alone, I think.
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