A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and I just can't figure out where our relationship is going and what it is that he wants.When we first started dating, things were so wonderful that I cannot even explain. We have so many things in common and we would just sit and talk for hours about everything. All of the typical "beginning relationship" stuff was there. We are both in college so during the summer we had a lot of time to spend with each other, and were together almost everyday. Now school has started and he all of a sudden has no time. He has taken on a job on campus and it has kept him very busy, and I understand this. What I do not understand is why once this job started, it was like I just disappeared.I have asked him a couple of times what is going on and his response is "we're fine, I'm just busy". When I do see him, I feel like he is annoyed to be around me, his eye contact seems to be less, and I don't see that same loving look in his eyes. He says "I love you" and never leaves me without a kiss, but he never seems apologetic that we hardly spend time together, he just tells me I need to understand. BUT he has time to spend with "the guys" and play video games, and watch movies until all hours of the night.So, my question is, should I continue down the same path and give him some space and time to see what happens?? Does he just need time to be a guy with his new-found friends?? Or is he just ready to call it quits and doesn't have the guts to tell me??
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female
reader, KlassyKirsty +, writes (30 September 2011):
 At the first stage of the relationship, the romance is at it's highest optimum peak, but as it proceeds, it does naturally tend to lose some of the novelty, only SOME. It is blatantly obvious that you both initially had some fantastic chemistry, but i think that some of it fizzled out. Seeing as his shedule is tighter, it is probably alot harder for him to juggle alot of commitments, seeing as he had alot of time on his hands during the summer. The most probable reason due to him being distant is that he does not like being tied down in a relationship, he might not be ready to settle down if he is more willing to spend more quality time with his social circles :( You do tend to invest more time to a serious relationsip.The level of communication between u two has gone rapidly downhill since the summer gave u both the chance to communicate alot more :)The action that i would take is if u intend to rescue this rerlationship, then i would refrain from bothering him for a while, then i would confront him in a non accusing manner, and ask him is he still willing to maintain the relationship with you, in which he has been finding difficult. Just bear in mind, he needs to his equal share of communication as well, not just you. To end this on a positive note, you did not do anything wrong :) good luck xxx
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