A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HI allI am sorry if this is a bit long but I need to get this off my chest and hope to understand a bit better.I first started dating my partner a year ago next week. In the begining he told me he was with someone but has not seen her for 6 yrs as she is abroad trying to sort her buisness out. He put £60,000 towards it, then her father died, so she stayed out their to continue his work and get the money that was due to her. I told him I would not be with someone who is already attached. first he said she said he could be unfaithful due to the circumstances, then said she wont be back he just wants his money so keeping her sweet. I used to date him many years ago and when we got back intouch ( he messaged me on fb) I felt drawn towards him. I told him if we are going to take things further he needs to tell her. he promised he would. only two weeks ago he finally messaged her that he had moved on and that she should do the same, and could she send him his money. in between all this he has had numerous emails from different dating sites, telling me these are old accounts that just send random messages, yet this has only started happenng thepast 4 months,when it never happened before. he joined skype too then said a friend said he could watch movies on it then said his phone wouldnt except it yet his on skype.....anyway last night the "now ex gf" emailed back last night and I a m now feeling so hurtand confused. I love him so much it hurts, but he never told me that the dog we have is the dog SHE told him to get, he told me he got the dog to stophim from travling to usa, and his mum said that dog saved his life, now the ex is saying " TELL YOUR GA DAMN NEW LOVE TO KILL OUR DOG AND I KNOW ALL IS OVER BETWEEN US, IF YOU DON'T DO THIS THEN I AM NOT ACCEPTING YOUR OFFER OR WHAT SO EVER YOU SAY AND LET ME TELL YOU THERE WILL SURELY BE A CURSE YABBING AROUND AS YOU KNOW WE HAVE SUFFER FOR GOOD SO MANY YEARS NOW THAT THE CONTACT DON'T WORK QUIT ALRIGHT THEN YOU RE LEAVING. PLEASE HELP KILL HIM AND I ILL LEAVE YOU FOREVER TO YOUR GOOD LIFE. IF YOU EVERLY WANT YOUR MONEY THEN BE EXPECTING AN ALERT ON YOUR BARCLAY'S BANK ACCOUNT I mean I appreciate she is upset and hurt, as would I be, and Iam hurting now too because I can not look at the dog the same way now, all I see is her and it is killing me inside. what does she mean excepting your offer? is it she wont except it it over between them unless the dog iskilled? how sick and twisted.so then I asked him do youlove her to which he replied " erm na not really, think it was more infactuation and the thought that she may come back and start the family we spoke about" he said it so candidly, He didn't even realize how hurt thatmade me to hear, I cant have any more children due to an op, not tomention that he had to THINK if hestill loved her or not, so now I fill like im justthe make do with woman!! I cant think straight any more, I have beome a shell and I dont do anything, I cant even bring myself to go to work its got me down so much. also early this week I had done ALL the washing and drying of clothes. he come home from work and had a shower straight away almost ( this dont bother me ) itsjust that normally we shower together every night, so he put his work clothes inthe washing machine. when it was finished i just grabbed them and put them in the dryer. when they were done i pulled them outand there was 4 boxer shortsin there?? why would he have 4 pairs on for work? unless he has been sleeping around and brought them all back thinking i wouldnt notice. and one last thing, since the begining we have hardly ever made love, he says its not important in the relationship, I thought it maybe because his nervous as he said he had been alone all the time his ex was away, now ijust dont know anymore. we had a row the other night and i told him were nt meant for eachother, he said dont be silly yes we are, then hesaid fine he will go, then like a idiot i beg for his forgiveness and tell him i cant be without him i love him too much illdo anything, his reply was careful what youwish for you know what i want ( he wants me to text someone whilst we have sex) or text him whilst his at work thatim w---king someone else and theyare doing things to me...i tried once to make him happy and he couldnt keeps his hands off me, when i told him the next time he asked that i didnt wantto as i feel he dontreally love me if he could getoff on imagining another mans hands all over me he stopped makinglove to me and said his was tired all the time.......please what do you think?thank you in advance
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at work, ex girlfriend, his ex, money, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi
thanks for your replys. Ihavent gone because I love him.I know stupid as I tell myself this every day but I help what the heart wants. yes he lives with me and my children my youngest 14he has such a great bond with him I cant bare to break his heart. I have now lost my job because of all this stress so im looking for another job. I watch programes like j.k and shout at thetv sometimes at these women/men who say but I love him/her get out, run,loser,and now its ME who is in the same situation. its pathetic but I truely have never loved someone so much in my life.
thank you again for your responses
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (23 May 2014):
The only thing missing here is boiling bunnies.
Run, don't walk.
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A
male
reader, methuselah +, writes (22 May 2014):
Hi,
This is not good. It is just too complicated and full of weird things. Its not a good relationship for you. Sorry.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (22 May 2014):
 Too many weird things in this relationship. I think he's definitely sleeping around, and it sounds like he just wants to use you to fulfill his sexual fantasies. If that's the only way he can be intimate with you, then it sound really dysfunctional. You don't sound happy at all. Why are you still hanging on to a man who is hiding so many secrets from you? He is not what he seems. Yes he is playing games with you. Too many red flags. RUN!
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (22 May 2014):
 What do I think?
I think you should dump his sorry ass.Pack his stuff while he's at work and leave it outside. Change the locks and let him get on with it.
If it's his place, then pack your stuff and leave, don't look back.Go to family and get your life back on track.
He is just plain bizarre and his behaviour is wrong.Your relationship is wrong.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (22 May 2014):
 He seems to be in a odd situation with the dog killing and all. Also the money situation to add to this is strange to. I would question also the sex with others and the texting that must be to prove cheating its something very strange concerning that.
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