A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been through a lot in 4 years. It started with a break up and he met another girl. Then we got back together with my assumption nothing ever happened between them because I believed what he said. I would catch texts and phone calls from her and we would argue about it, but I never had any concrete proof of this. He went to prison for OUI's for over a year and I stood by him but was not completely faithful, but who can blame me? He has been out now for over 3 months and just a couple of days ago moved in. We each have a child and none together, I snooped (wrong I know) and found a letter from this same girl postmarked right before he left for prison over a year ago. It said in blunt dialouge that he has cheated on me with her while being with me. My question is has he stopped this or will he continue to do this later with her? He has been treating me really good and I'm not sure if I can live with this knowing he has cheated and lied?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe are engaged and do have a set date of marriage. I completely agree when you say that I have made some bad decisions! I have always tried to look out for myself and my own daughter but Im not doing a great job with it I guess. I need to let him go I understand that but when your heart tells you to hold on it becomes extremely difficult. I am a very strong independent woman and I know that I will get through this but will I be doing it to better my daughter when she again has to witness another upheave? Will in the end she understand the reasoning behind it? Will I again believe what he says in fear that maybe it is true..This is ultimately very confusing and I can imagine anyone elses thoughts on my situation. Im not afraid of being alone Im afraid that the affair is over and he actually will continue to be faithful and I have given up on him when it happened over a year ago!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): Frankly you are making some stupid choices. What on earth are you doing letting him move in right after he gets out of prison? If you can't trust the guy then why is he moving in? I feel sorry for your kids. Kids deserve stability, not constant change and upheaval and some guy moving in all of a sudden. Be the grown up here and ask him to find his own place. Unless you are engaged to be married then you have no business moving in, especially if there is no wedding date set. You are merely playing house, playing at a real relationship where none really exists. You have nothing without some trust and respect and loyalty....and all of the above is in short supply.
He doesn't sound like a great guy if he found himself in prison and he has been seeing some other girl on the side. Are you nuts, stupid or just do desperate that you can't let this loser go. He has lied repeatedly to you, of course he will do it again....he has and he will.
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