A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy online and after a couple weeks of messaging each other we exchanged phone numbers. He text me that same day and has every day since. This was almost a month ago. Sometimes the texting lasts all day and other times its not as long. I saw this as a sign that he's very interested. He lives 45 minutes away and has come to meet me for dates twice in the last 3 weeks. Sometimes our texts are flirty and I hint about wanting to see him again but he doesn't ask me out. Does this mean he's not really interested? Or do you think he likes a girl who takes the lead? Thanks for any input!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2014): You know what my wife did when she wanted to meet up or go on a date? She asked me. You know what she does when she wants to know something or do something with me? She asks.
You see even at 19 she kind of figured out that she could sit there and look for signs that could mean anything, she could hint at what she wants hoping I can read minds or she could not be a game player and just ask me these things.
It's not that she doesn't like mystery it's just that she didn't want to spend her time being confused and over-thinking everything. So she asked.
OP we're not mind readers and we don't get hints. He's probably thinking you've gone cold or you're lazy and demanding and giving nothing back while waiting for him to do all the work, or he could be busy with other things in his life, or as is normal with online dating he's had another woman show him more interest than you and be more proactive.
So just ask him if he'd like to meet up soon if that's what you want.
Just remember, OP, with online dating he has more than just you as an option. 1940's rules of courtship don't apply online with all the other potentials he can contact. You too have to show a bit of interest in getting what you want or some other woman can just outdo you because guess what? We have options now and women who will share the burden of the chase, and frankly a woman who is willing to work for us too is far more appealing than one who is so vague and lazy. It's nice to feel wanted, OP. It's been a month and you show very little signs that you want to spend time with him, just hints and texts.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (26 April 2014):
 As you have had 2 dates but not a 3rd then I would text and say 'you can ring me to arrange another date you know'.
If he doesn't, well, just stop replying to his messages, he will either step up and call you, or vanish.
I think texts are a good way to keep in contact, flirt a bit, but 'only' if phone calls and dates are made too.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (25 April 2014):
 No, texting is not a sign of interest, it's a sign of laziness and/ or boredom. Texting is too easy. It lacks, well, everything and requires no effort while keeping you hooked. Are there any phone calls? The whole online thing gives me the creeps too, as you're an option. I'd say, stop hinting, don't initiate text exchanges, say you'd ratter talk on the phone to arrange the next meet up, and if he balks at that, you have your answer.
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