A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've met a guy a couple of weeks ago, and we went out... it was nice, so we decided to keep in touch (he lives in another city), talking via skype whenever we could.Our schedules don't match, but we managed to speak at least 5 times a week...the thing is, i have this policy, which is try not to look desperate - so, i don't call, text or start conversations, but whenever he does, i carry on... when he calls, i'm nice, we have a good talk...we last talked on tuesday, and he said nice things, like " i have one goal in my life, and it is being with you". i thought it was cute, but the kind of thing a guy would say when he wants to get in a girl's pants. so i answered "i too have one goal in my life, and its being happy"... the talk went on, and than we said good bye and that was it! it's been 4 days and didn't contact me again!i liked the guy... but i don't want to chase him down... i believe that if he never talks to me again is because he isn't worth it...but i don't know...should i call him? should i wait? should i forget about him? did i say something wrong?this never happened to me... =(
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): Throw that policy out! That is the most ridiclous thing i have ever heard of! This guy has feelings just like you do! It takes TWO to make a relationship! He probably feels like you aren't interested in him, or you just don't care! There is a difference in wanting a relationship than being desperate. Desperate is calling him nonstop, starting a normal relationship is COMMUNICATING. Call him!
A
male
reader, 3much4u +, writes (19 June 2011):
as you said you shouldn't sound desperate but your fear of sounding desperate is worrying and may ultimately make you lose this guy. at some point you have to lower the wall of "hard to get" especially since you guys have been talking frequently.
i had an ex girlfriend who started calling n texting first and she didn't sound desperate. i viewed it that she was showing an honest interest in me. in the year we live today that isn't anywhere close to desperate (probably 60 yrs ago but not now).
you should call/skype and casually say that yo missed his voice or just talking to him. trust me that will turn him over.
good luck
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A
male
reader, G_S +, writes (19 June 2011):
Maybe be a little more straight forward and show more interest if you are interested.
His "goal... being with you" statement was a reaching out attempt to see if you felt the same way back.
You may have actually hurt his feelings by saying "being happy" but making no reference to even a possible a future with him. He's probably thinking you brushed him off...
If you are still interested, you should reach out to him. Don't resort to games. Showing mutual interest is not acting desperate. (Continually calling and texting when it is not well received or going too far too fast is "acting desperate".)
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