A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Thanks for all the help.Ok so I have been dating this fellow for a year. As of three months ago he moved into my house with my son and I. I do think it's a bit fast however he lives a hour away and was here evey-night anyhow..Most of his stuff I told him to leave at his house, not to be mean but my stuff is really nice and I do not want more clutter and old worn stuff.. So that's my 1st issue he keeps bringing crap over here even to empty egg cartons -then leaves them out for me to put away... The condition I had with him was also to help out around here - meaning pay for half of food costs and help pick up - well both of those he don't do.. I have had two talks with him. The only thing he buys is pop and milk for himself. I have picked up countless cans and pop boxes.. I take pride in my home, and I like my house to remain nice and I feel like he tries to trash it and tries to bring things to trash it.. Im sorry I do'nt want a ripped up old love seat with clawed sides from cats I dont want a half broken light, or even broken eletronics in my house. I have worked hard to have the nice home I have. Last night I have cheaper vodka and $$$$ vodka I told him before he moved in that was for parties to drink the cheaper bottle - well last night He drank half of the expensive stuff and told me I should place it up if I did not want him to drink it. Im sorry do I have to place my nice stuff up in my home ?... The bad part is my son likes him but not his lazyness b/c he cleans after him too... He even placed a note for him to pick up a stamper that my son picked up and placed away three times through the week .We like him except for these things.#1 Should I kick him out?#2 Do I give anouther chance when I have had talks with him already.#3 Do I make a list of chores and give him a list evry week of half the food.#4 any advice please
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (23 November 2009):
 What the...
Isn't the fact that he drinks half a bottle of vodka, of any kind enough of a hint?
Ah well, you are the one who likes him, so perhaps you like the way he is.
perhaps I should reverse your question. Are you looking for a husband/partner or a son.
Seems you want to raise him, do that with your real son, not with a boyfriend. I also sense a strong element of you having build a single life that you are actually happy with and resent anyone coming in and messing it up.
That combination of a bf who sounds immature and a woman who doesn't want a hairy man around, sounds like a recipe for trouble.
Advice: What is it that YOU want.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 November 2009):
You've already talked to him about this. You told him in advance what was expected and then when you told him off for being inconsiderate, he's told you that you should work around him.
Well no, I agree that you should not have to change when he is the one moving in and costing you money.
It's not up to you to chase him and invoice him for all the stuff you provide either. You are not a hotel.
I'd ask him to move out again. It's clear he has no respect for your home, and that implies a lack of respect for you.
Don't stand for this when you have a child to look after as well. Keep your standards high. Would you accept this from anyone else?
Good Luck!! xx
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