A
female
age
51-59,
*onSull
writes:I met a guy from a dating site a year ago. I am still on the dating site and so is he and he sent a messsge to say that we tried before but I got nasty with him. I told him I could not remember why and I just thought he wasn’t interested in me. He said that was ok and how would I like to try again. I said yes ok. He asked about meeting the next day and I said depends where and what time. He said he didn’t mind and I said I would have a think.He said to meet first see how we are then take it from there if I didn’t mind. He didn’t want to muck it up this time and shall we start over.To me it feels weird that I have met this guy before and had a walk with him and he did not talk much and it did put me off him. He had brought me some pink flowers which I thought was nice but any other man would want to speak to someone they have met before wouldn’t they. I’m not going to be calling or texting him all the time in case that’s what he is thinking.Is he being a gentleman, as he has got two young kids and divorced?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 December 2020):
Are schools even in person in the UK? I know most schools here in the US are online.
Also HE has your number but he messaged you on the dating site that his daughter got hurt? HE didn't bother calling you? Or suggesting another day for a raincheck?
It's up to you if you want to give him another chance. Or not.
It could BE that his daughter got hurt. Stuff happens when you have kids.
But if this happens more than one... He is a flake.
Go with your gut here. Your gut is telling you he is full of horse manure. He probably is.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2020): This is onsull here.
I gave him my number incase he wanted to message me because we said we where going to meet at a cafe but he still hasn’t contacted me on it and is only contacting me through the dating site we’re on. We were supposed to of met yesterday but he messsged me 40 minutes before we where due to meet to say his daughter had banged her head in school and he had to pick her up. I think this is a lie. Shall I not bother with him at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2020): You cannot see what I see - he is a boring desperate man. Either you do not care about it or you hate the idea of being single and will make do. You even remember some pink flowers from a year ago - oh dear. Big deal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2020): Oh my goodness.Dear do not go out with him.He seems kind of insane.It is in what you wrote....read what you wrote again.Run far and fast.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2020): If you think a second-attempt will be any different from the first, more power to you. You didn't seem to get a vibe, and that's what the first date was really about. Communication and being able to connect with your date is really important; otherwise, it's just a waste of everybody's time.
You've decided to give it another go. Personally, I don't think it will make much difference; because it seems he didn't do his best to put his best foot forward. You've committed yourself to try again, so stick to it. Be honest if things don't feel any different than the last date.
Taking it slow doesn't mean hardly speaking a word while you're out on a date! How can you get to know someone without conversation and pleasurable interaction? How can you like someone who doesn't reveal themselves to you to let you know what their personality is like, and/or if they're too closed-off?
You won't know if he's having a good-time or not!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2020): Why would you want a guy who barely speaks? Do you want to die of boredom?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2020): He is just after easy free sex, and thinks that because you nearly got it together before and you have been frustrated for a year or more - same as him - you will settle for him and what he offers - which is very little. No way would I date a guy whose idea of a date is a walk. It's cheap. A discerning guy would make sure he speaks to you on phone properly at least once before asking to meet up. He cannot be discerning and he is assuming you are as desperate as him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2020): I wouldn’t bother if I were you. You don’t seem compatible at all. It didn’t work out a year ago and it’s not going to work out now. He may not of talked so much because he was nervous/had other things on his mind. But then he may just be a shy and quiet type. Either way I think the biggest issue is the fact that you got nasty with him. You don’t even remember why so maybe you felt rejected so turned on him. Maybe he was interested but doesn’t text/call/feel the need to talk as much as you want. So you felt rejected. That shows your incompatibilities. It’s fine to need more communication or whatever it was that made you feel rejected. But clearly your not going to get it from him. Find someone more suited to you
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (13 December 2020):
 I can't see that anything will be different a second time around, and a whole year on.
He said you got nasty with him, but you can't remember why?. sounds like a random thing to come out with to me.
The fact he wants to meet straight away rather than get to know you more before hand is a bit of a red flag if i'm honest.
Ok you met a year ago, it never worked out then. I think i would delete him and find someone else who your more compatable with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2020): The first thing that struck me was the manipulation he seems to be doing. He is calling all the shots after accusing you of 'getting nasty'.To me that speaks volumes.What also speaks volumes is that he just randomly got back in touch after a year of no luck, asking you to 'try again'. Sounds like every other woman has had a similar boring experience with him and he is just left to go back over old ground and hope one of you will be as fed up as him, and will just settle for him.It sounds harsh toward him but that's because he is wasting your time OR hoping for a quick lay! You didn't click so why bother trying again? It's not like you ever had a thing, you met once and didn't hit it off.Personally i'd rather he single than settle for that but each to their own
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 December 2020):
I think it is a waste of your time to "try again" - obviously what YOU want from a partner and what HE has to offer doesn't match.
Last time you "got nasty" with him - really? Because you thought he wasn't interested? And then a year later he wants to try again? Do you think he can NOW keep up conversations and show proper interest?
I'd say this would be a hard pass for me. It didn't work the first time, MOVE on to someone else.
Also he suggest RIGHT off the bat to meet in person? While I think people should meet FAIRLY early it comes off as someone who is in a rush... or REALLY hoping to get laid ASAP.
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