A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've just started dating this guy and it's been about 2 weeks. We're both in our late 20s. Our first date lasted over 10 hours, and each one after that last quite long but I end them because I need to go home or whatever. Anyway, first date he gave me a hug, second date he kissed and hugged me, third date kissed me again, and on the fourth he kissed me more passionately and started introducing tongue. He hasn’t touched me inappropriately once and I'm always in control…I pull away when I want to and he never goes for more if I don’t show him I want to…basically you could say I run the show and I've never had to say no...he seems to know his boundaries but is slowly going for more. I'm inexperienced with these things and I don't know if he's just looking to sleep with me soon or if he's interested in me as well as getting physical with me (it'd be stupid to say he isn’t interested in sex at all). Is there a way to tell? He doesn’t make inappropriate comments although he has started to flirt slowly and say a few things here and there, but nothing inappropriate. He also smiles a lot when he looks at me, although lately he doesn’t seem that interested to get to know me even more. Am I just being paranoid and is he just doing the guy thing? I know I can't expect him to just want to 'get to know' me without the physical but I'm still wondering if it's possible he only wants the physical from me? He's talked about future plans like holidays and all that but those are just words I suppose, right?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): I'm sure if he was just interested in the physical he would be more forward about what he wanted and possibly more 'inappropriate'. From my experience i would suggest that hes just physically attracted to you which is a good sign in any relationship. He is also happy to talk to you and go slow so i wouldn't worry too much about him just wanting sex.
take it easy, its normal to have feelings of slight paranoia when things start out and you dont know what the guy wants. but try not to jump to conclusions, it sounds like he likes you :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): If you're uncomfortable with tongues then stop him, really they're are no rules as long as he doesn't start reaching down their unless you want him to! It just sshows that he's physically attracted to you, perhaps next date you could just end with a quick kiss and see what happens
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