A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI have been with this guy for a month and a half. The problem with our relationship is that he is always busy with his work. He keeps assuring me that all will be fine , he tells me that he loves me all the time, but we see each other only once a week and we will spend a night.... I spoke to him about it and told him that at least he needs to call me more regularly and now he does that and he will call every night and I call him during the day.... His work also includes a lot of travelling around the provinces, and he will sometimes go straight to work after the trip and we end up not seeing each other.We live in the same city and he drives, he does not work far from my place but he will leave work and go home without seeing me.... But when it comes to doing favours for friends, he does that.... the other day I slept over at his place, we had to wake up very early in the morning, so that he fetches a friend's kids to work.... I was amazed that he can be willing to do that kind of sacrifice. Another thing is that he goes home every chance that he gets.... ( every holiday) even though he would call to constantly reassure me I always feel like something is missing.....Yesterday, I couldnt see him... he was sick and he went to the doctor who told him that he has got blood pressure and a bile problem....his stomach was aching....but I would at least expect that he fetches me if he is sick so that I would be with him.... The person who could drive him was not available so we spent the whole night trying to get a driver.... until he gave up and drove on his own I waited for the whole night until I told him I am not waiting anymore.... I will see him when he comes back from homeI sent him sms and was very frustrated because i dont trust he is telling me the truth. He wouldnt take my calls but only sms and he would respond...Today he is back at work and he told me that he does not appreciate it when people suspect that he is dating someone... He wants to be trusted....He told me that before.... that most women become very jealous in the relationships and he is a busy man.... but really something fishy.... Do u think this guy is telling the truth?? I am not willing to travel the route of dishonest men anymore and I do not want to be those women who claim they have boyfriends that are emotionally unavailable... How long must I observe this... will breaking things off now be a good idea...too many stories and excuses
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, trueheartconfused  +, writes (26 April 2007):
Hi ;
A month and half is a short time if you are considering
a long term relationship with him.
One thing I know about men is this: they like to take
charge, they like to make their own decisions and do things
base on their time table.He will call you when he wants to,
no men like to be told to call.
If he was this way from the beginning of the relationship,
he is probably telling the truth: He is just busy. You can
only suspect him if he has a sudden change of behavior. And
Men like to be trusted,you are very likely to drive him away
with your jealousy, your jealousy shows him how insecure
you are , being insecure is not very appealing to most men,
especially he's already told you about his past experience
with other women.
On the other hand , you need to trust your own gut feeling, just see how things goes, stop calling him and
stop asking him to call you , if he truely cares about you
like he said , he will call you by himself . Teach him
to express his love use his actions not only his words.
When he starts calling you , wanting to see you on his own
without you telling him to , you can rest assure that he
really loves you and he is telling the truth . And if he
does not call, you are better off without him anyway. Either
way , you will get your answer.
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