A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so im in a strange situation, I am at uni and living with three other girls and a guy. Me and this guy have some history and used to be really close, he was there for me at a time when i was vulnerable and lonely and our friendship is important to me as i don't have many friends, but living with him has been difficult. He spends a lot of time with one of the other girls in the house and recently is always really playful with her, stares at her, and teases her and shares private jokes, she is known to flirt with a lot of guys and says she's seeing someone at the moment,but I feel so jealous like my heart has been ripped out and trampled on sometimes when i hear them alone together i feel like i'm going to throw up. Its even more confusing, because when its just me and him he's the nicest guy ever and he doesn't stop smiling at me, but if anyone else is around he changes and the look in his eye turns to one of hate, somehow I feel i must of pissed him off in some way i cant work out why he treats me differently depending on who's around. Is he just a moody guy? I don't want it to be awkward as we live in the same house.
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female
reader, rocker90star  +, writes (17 December 2010):
if you are being hurt by his behavior, let him know. be honest, but don't attack him, and let him know how you feel. try and explain that his friendship means alot to you, and just tell him these things without being too emotional. and if you DO want to be more than just friends, take it easy and just go with it. the main thing is to be honest.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): Thanks for the replies. To address CJH'S point. I am not asking you to tell me whats going on in his head. I feel i cant bring the issue up with him as he avoids this kind of conversation, as for asking him what he wants the problem is our communication has broken down and he wont open up to me he is cutting me out of his life, yet i'm in it as we live together. I feel i've lost a good friend and don't know why. Although i like him it couldn't work out between us and i don't want to start a romantic relationship with him, I would like to find a way for us to be the great friends we once were, however after reading what people have had to say I might just have to accept that our friendship is fading and that perhaps were both changing as people and drifting apart, maybe it is this fact that is upsetting me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): Right, I'm a boy and ive been with a few girl's.
Sometimes i act differently depending on what one of my friends are around, its mostly peer pressure, but i think that you should tell him that you like him [alone if possible], if he reacts in a good way and says he likes you too, just ask him gently why he keeps flirting with that other girl you live around.
As you said, when you are together, he is a nice guy, thats true, its kinda complicated but when you are with the one you like alone with no-one else there, its easier to connect with them.
Hope this Helps.
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A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Why not forget about his weird behaviour for a moment and work out what you want from him?
You mention the jealousy you feel but is that just a result of what you had or is it all about what you want?
Youre asking us here, complete strangers, to tell you whats going on in his head, thats an impossible ask isnt it?
Work out what you want, speak to him, ask him what he wants and then get back to us?
Sorry to appear dismissive but be realistic here, nobody has ESP and unless we know the guy, we really have nothing to go on do we? You may just find that you yourself are oversensitive to his reactions and behaviour and what you describe to us about his look changing to hatred isnt happening at all!
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 To be honest you may have to look for other accommodation. It's not the ideal situation that you are in and it will only get worse. He must be in his element living with four girls he must think he has the pick of you all. Don't pamper to him, just get on with your life and try not to focus on his. I you are thinking he is moody and changeable then he probably is. Are you getting upset because you want him back? When you are on your own with him y ou could try talking to him about how he is making you feel, you never know he may give you an honest answer, he may even not realize what he's been like and will be more aware of it.
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