A
female
age
36-40,
*lissful_nat
writes:Hi, there's a friend I met in college. We have to work on a group assignment since the start of the year. Sorry it's gonna be a little long. At the beginning, whenever we had meetings in a group, he would look at me very often, especially when someone says a joke or something. And sometimes he would single me out to ask something, or when he's addressing the group, he would look at me. And then there's the eye contact. God, can he hold like eye contact with me for like longer than 3 secs. I always look away though, but sometimes I'd smile. I've caught him staring when I enter the classroom, across hallways or like when my name is called. And he says things which makes me think he observes me in class. Like I said I didnt pay attention alot. And he went like "yeah! your always doing your own work!"Anyways. I've gotten to know him a little better over the weeks. In particular one time a few weeks ago when we had to have a five hour long meeting. That was when I opened up abit more about myself.And he seemed himself. At the end of the meeting, it was just the both of us, I asked him where he was going, he said he didnt know. He asked me and I said he was going home. He then said he had a meeting to go to =SI added him on msn. We rarely talk, unless its about work. And I always initiate it. Once when I said I procrastinated alot, he sent me a poem he had on his desktop. And told me not to worry abt my part for the group report. The next day I thanked him for it and during a break in class we were standing near each other, but he suddenly slowly walked off =S Last week he seemed very moody so I asked him what was wrong, and he said he was ill and stressed. So I told him to cheer up and to take care.He's an extremely chatty person. Like just really energetic and talkative and hyper. He's not a flirt, pretty religious and likes to joke and smile alot. I'm quiet/talkative depending on my mood. I haven't really been showing alot of interest in him. I only starting warming up to him a few weeks ago and I started smiling and joking around and being myself.This week especially, he's really himself in a group. very noisy and talks alot, if he ever teases me, its usually very mild. But I've spent a few occasions with him alone. Like once a few days ago, I casually mentioned I was taking the train home. Then later he asked the group if anyone was train-ing home and looked at me. Later when it was just me and him, he wondered out loud if he should take the bus or train, so we went the same way. During the whole ride, he was very subdued. Like just awful quiet and the whole time he was fiddling with his phone or looking at the floor. And he has been like this recently whenever we are alone. Earlier in the year, he could still be a little like himself. =SWhat exactly is going on?! =S the term is ending like in 2 weeks. Any help? Thanks! =)
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female
reader, blissful_nat +, writes (22 March 2009):
blissful_nat is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Gina, thanks for your answer :)
Anon writer: Yup I agree with the thing about circumstances. He's not attached. Whether he's involved with someone else I dont know. The entire college is huge, I cant be following him wherever he goes. I wouldnt say he "puts up a boundary". He still talks but not how he usually is. And, he's usually got the 'busy' sign on msn and he once told me hes chatting to friends from overseas. And well, people are complex. It doesn't mean that cause they usually arent shy then in ALL circumstances they wont be shy. Lots of things depend on the situation.
And well, I only started being more comfortable around him recently, like just this week. And he seems quite fine with it. well, see how it goes then. thanks!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): It does sound like he is drawn to you and feels some sort of attraction but whether he likes you or intends to do anything about it is hard to tell, you never know what peoples circumstances are or if the timing is off for them. Normally you would want to enjoy this and take it slow but with only 2 weeks left it puts some pressure on to do something. Since he was awkward with you when you were alone and doesn't initiate things on msn, is he involved with someone else? Most of the signs he's giving off towards you in class are positive and he may not even realize he's doing it but it does tell you there is something there. Outside of class is when he seems to put up those boundaries so either he's with someone else or something is going on. It doesn't sound like he's shy.
Maybe all he needs is a little more encouragement from you like flirting with him more so he'll feel more confident asking you out? Sometimes guys can't help sending off the vibes to a pretty girl even if they don't plan on dating them and sometimes all guys need is for you to turn up the heat and flirt more. If you do this and he backs off then you've lost nothing but have your answer.
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A
female
reader, blissful_nat +, writes (21 March 2009):
blissful_nat is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for reading, its so long! And one more thing I like to add is that if I ever accidentally touch him/bump into him, he doesn't move away. And recently, he's been standing near or brushing past me on accident too. And he's got a tendency to use say my name quite abit, especially when hes in a good mood. dont know when =S
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