A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently relocated to a new city. Within a month of moving in, my neighbor introduced himself and I was immediately stricken and attracted to him. The other day he stopped over and we ended up having drinks with neighbors and friends. He kept complimenting me and even walked me home that night. We stood there talking and he kept asking why I was still single. He told me if I ever needed anything to let him know. He mentioned exchanging numbers at some point. He also asked if I’d be open for talking without telling them neighbors what we talk about. Not really sure what that means. He said I shouldn’t ever change how I am and that he enjoyed some of my mannerisms. I added him to my social media accounts that night and he accepted the next morning. I do not know how to proceed. Is he interested or being a polite neighbor? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2019): My alarm bells went off reading this . Somehow there seems to be an omission abouthis status. Is he married ? If so , him or you being attracted is irrelevant . Stay away
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2019): You didn't indicate whether he was single. You've already mentioned you were attracted to him; which suggests you're receptive to his charms, and that means our advice may not be taken that seriously. You want to know if he likes you, not all this warning stuff!
You've added him on your social media; so he will learn a lot about you too soon. That gives him an unfair advantage. He can mold himself into your dream-guy by creating a characterization of himself, based on what he learns about you. That created-persona or alter-ego may not be the guy he really is. What if he's the stalker-type? He lives next-door!!!
Jury is still out on his intentions, and what kind of a person he is. He lives close-by, and that can be a problem if you end-up having to reject his advances. He might not be as nice as you think. You're too eager, and that will also make you vulnerable.
Slow your roll, my dear! You're the new girl in-town, and it's always best to know your neighbors as well as they know you! Without letting-on you're attracted to him; you should ask your other neighbors about his character, and what type of guy he is. They've known him longer.
Be careful, you're a single-lady living alone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2019): Oh and I forgot to say that to keep complimenting someone is called 'love bombing'. I really don't think he's good news.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2019): I would avoid him like the plague. He has already got you wondering with his little mind games with just one exchange. All the things he has said were meant to put you off balance. Which it has, otherwise why would you be asking about him and his intentions and actions?
In my opinion, he is a player, using silly little tactics that he has learned that are designed to get in to your head. And look how it's worked!
Very presumptive of him to ask you personal questions, to even MENTION your mannerisms and then to insinuate that SOME of them are distasteful to him!
And then to pique your curiosity and to instil a feeling of false closeness, to get you to collude with him, by talking together, but with a caveat to keep what you discuss between yourselves.
This is not normal, nice behaviour and it has red flags all over it as far as I can see.
He sounds manipulative and not a very nice piece of work. Good luck with him if you decide to take it further. From what he's said already, I think he's ready for some fun with him as the cat and you as the mouse.
Avoid. In my opinion.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 March 2019):
 He is single himself, correct?
So next time he ASKS you WHY you are single... ask him why HE is single.
He actually said he enjoyed SOME of your mannerism? What an odd thing to say. It ALMOST imply that he also DISLIKES OTHER of your mannerism, wouldn't you say? Telling someone "don't EVER change who you are" it's surely meant as a compliment but can so easy be a tad patronizing too. HE IS a stranger and it's NONE of his business how you act/behave.
This is a guy you BARELY know.
You live right next door to him.
So IF I were you I'd tread carefully.
You got introduced to other neighbors but he wants you not share what HE tells you. Is that because they all KNOW him?
You have added him on social media, LET him do some leg work now, but DO NOT jump into bed with this man just because he is handsome and a little charming.
I'd go REAL REAL slow here.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (28 March 2019):
 He is interested but don't ask him out. Let him make first move and be man and ask you out, just continue be open and enthusiastic around him and feminine. Good luck ! ??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2019): To me that is kind of creepy.What he said is strange.Talk without letting the neighbors know what we talk about.That is strange.I would advise even if he was not weird not to date him.Only because if it does not work out or if there is drama you still have him as a neighbor.All the neighbors will be up in your beeswax thus no privacy in your relationship.I would just slow down with the neighbors too.Hello and good bye is ok but if you get to friendly you might regret it down the road.Your choice.But you do not want to have to move just because of neighbor drama.
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