A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going to this bar all summer every Sunday and I've made friends with everyone who works there. a few months ago I fell for this guy who works as a bar back there. I'm 21 outgoing and I like to make people laugh. he's 29 and pretty shy and laid back. I don't know if he knows I like him at this point. a few of his coworkers know. one of his coworkers said that he doesn't think he is looking for a relationship but he thinks he would be open to one if a girl came along that was interested. the other person thinks he likes me because she says she never sees him talking to other girls besides me. he never talks about girls at all and no he's not gay. some of the things he's said confuse me. one time he said he wasn't much of a hugger but if he was hugging me it was a good thing. couple times he joked about kissing me. I said I couldn't kiss a smoker because I was allergic to cigs and he said oh I guess I'm out of luck then.so I told him I would make an exception for him he smiled with two thumbs up and said yay I'm exceptional! he would usually get off of work early on Sundays and hang out with me and my friends. one time I had gone to the bathroom and he started talking about Chinese astrology and what signs he was compatible with. he said oh I wonder what (my name)'s sign is. then he brought up my gay guy friends. the week before one of them had been hanging on me. he thought my friend told him to come sit next to my "boyfriend" which I cleared up and said no I don't have a boyfriend. then the very next weekend he kinda gave me the cold shoulder. he played a few games of pool with me and some friends but before and after that he was over talking with other people and was going to leave without giving me a hug. then 2 weeks ago I got his number because I asked him if he wanted to go to the renaissance faire with me and a friend which he said yeah why not. he kinda looked a little surprised that I asked for his number. so he gave it to me and then when the times comes to hang out and go he said he didn't have enough money. then a few weeks ago I text him saying our friend wants him to come out for his birthday and he never texted me back. I also invited him out Sunday night and he said he was recovering from the wedding he went to so he didn't want to come. I said aww come out and say hi and he said "na." there are a lot more little details like the time he let me rub his butt when it hurt HAHA. but I won't get into that. there's been some dirty flirty talk betweeen us but I don't know if he's just joking. my guy friends keep an eye out and they say he checks out my butt from time to time but he does it so its not obvious. he also tells me about his work/school schedule. one time he was sayin stuff about girls he likes having smaller arms than him and I was checking out my arms and he was like "nah you're fine!" but from the info given can someone give me some insight as to what maybe going on in his head? does he like me?
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co-worker, flirt, kissing, money, shy, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): Maybe, but he seems kind of hot and cold to me. He may just be a flirt. Maybe because he is older than you by so much he likes to flirt with you but doesn't see you as a match.
The biggest clue that he may not be interested is he always says no when you invite him out. However, you always invite him out with other friends. Maybe invite him out for coffee or lunch, something casual but still just the two of you. If he says no, I am guessing he doesn't like you that way and just likes flirting.
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