A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:(I’ve just realized I wrote such a long post! Sorry and thanx for reading!)There’s this guy I like very much. We are both divorced. He has kids. I think he may be interested in me. We haven’t exchanged phone numbers, we see each other at our friends. We have several friends in common. This past two months we have been seeing each other at least once to twice a week and have become very comfortable with each other to say the least.So I have basically two questions: is he interested in me the way I think he is and should I let him make the first move or do so myself?He’s someone who’s serious and responsible, which is quite a refreshment :) . As far as I know (and I did ask around ;) he never cheated on his wife (they divorced because they were both miserable in their marriage) and didn’t chase women like crazy after they had split up 4 years ago. Apparently he had two girlfriends. Now he’s single. At the beginning when we met he thought I was married. Even then I could tell that he was “paying attention” (for the lack of a better word). When he learned I was divorced he changed. So I clearly remember the difference in his behavior.He’s always happy to see me (and sometimes asks the hosts if I am coming) and interested in how I am, what I’ve been up to… He looks for excuses to touch me (he’s not like that with anyone else). He always wants to know if I have a ride home and if I don’t makes sure that I do (however until now we never ended up alone in his car :( the last few times there was always someone at the last minute who jumped in). We have a few private jokes. Sometimes I have a feeling that in the midst of general conversation we are having a sort of “tête-à-tête”. For instance, a young couple mentioned their intention to adopt a child since they can’t have children. My friend pointed out that I, even though capable of bearing children, always wanted to adopt. While others asked questions I am used to like “why would you want to do that?”, he was more specific and wanted to know if I would be happy only with a baby or f I considered adopting an older child, “let’s say a nine year old kid”. I learned later that he has a boy of that age.Am I reading too much into this? I was thinking of maybe inviting a few mutual friends for dinner and him (but I don’t have his number… and is it awkward?). Should I wait for him to make a move?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2016): Hello OP.It's Female Anon.So happy to hear you are going to go for it! And liked my advice! I am happy to help!Life is short. You can't live in "what if's." ;)I am giving you this advice because it happened to me. My husband was interested in me and we had mutual friends too. In fact, my best friend is married to his first cousin. So, I asked my best friend if they could "arrange" a BBQ at their place and invite me over as well as him. I definitely orchestrated the whole thing! LOL I sort of knew he liked me. And I liked him of course! So that night, we talked and got to know each other. He drove me home and gave me my first kiss!! And we began dating and the rest is history. So, stuff like this is always a good plan. It worked out for me. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!If you can, let us know how it goes.Have fun!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2016): I am the OP.
Thank you so much for your answer and good ideas!
I love to cook (and I'm not bad at it ;) and I tend to complicate dinner plans. So keeping it simple is great piece of advice.
I also love the idea of "wing man", it feels like high school :).
The next time I'll see him I'll ask him.... at least I'll know. I got hooked to a feeling "what if"... now it's the time to face the facts...
Thax again!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2016): I think you should have a get together for dinner and invite some mutual friends as well as this guy. That sounds like a good idea.Maybe the next time you see him, ask him for his contact information? Tell him you're having a dinner party and you'd love for him to come if he can make it. If he is receptive to giving you the info, that is a good sign. See how he reacts. And if he gives you his number, call him up and invite him over once you have a date in mind.See how that all plays out.You will know much more once he is at your place for dinner. I do suggest you keep the gathering on the intimate side to be able to get plenty of one on one time with him. Also, keep the meal simple. You can even just do hors d'eouvres or appetizers as an entire meal. Don't be too busy having to be a hostess. Less is more. You want to enjoy your time and not your duties.I would also suggest having a good girlfriend there as a "wing man" for moral support. Make sure the mutual friends are good choices for the party. Perhaps other couples? You don't really want other single women there.I think this is a good way of going about it without appearing too overt or aggressive.
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