A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 5 months now. He is in his late 30's and I am in my early 20's. I can say that I have matured faster than other women my age. When he approached me, I had the assumption that he "grew that side of the brain" and had his stuff together after having a meaningful conversation. Well, as the relationship progressed (very quickly I might add), I had started staying there because it was closer to my work and the fact that I couldn’t get enough of the guy. He was injured in an accident and was unable to walk until about 5 or 6 months ago, and currently is unemployed. My initial decision to get a house with my best friend was already in place before we had started dating. Now, we have moved to a house and I had told him before that I wasn’t sure that we should move in the house together even though we had been somewhat living together at his apartment. When I had approached him about this he pretty much gave me a guilt trip and said “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you, I’ll quit being lazy and I’ll make the changes. We should at least give it a try, but honestly this would really devastate me, and I just can’t think of not moving in with you.” Now I am dealing with him being unemployed, and is not making much of an effort to find one (although since I have said something to him more than once, he finally decided to go out while I was at work). I don’t think that I have to reiterate the fact that I work hard for what I have, and I don’t feel like I should have to support someone else that isn’t blood related; that should be obvious to any working person and especially nowadays with the economy. But I can say that I have helped him out financially more than once to get him out of trouble. Anyway, lately he has lost all ambition and motivation since we first started dating. We get into petty arguments over nothing that turns into something huge. He always has this look on his face like he wants to say something but doesn’t. I have to pretty much shake it out of him to tell me something, and then he says “this is why I didn’t want to tell you, because now we are arguing” I’m not intentionally doing this to start and argument, I feel if you cannot have that kind of communication that you are supposed to have in a relationship, that you are either hiding something or trying to avoid it. Now I can’t say that I am completely innocent as far as not losing my temper, but all of these things that I have had to deal with lately are making me lose all interest in him. As time progresses, I can’t seem to find the right time to bring it up or how I am going to. I need some guidance!
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ambition, at work, best friend Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, I appreciate it!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, he's not depressed. It was something he did out of a drunken stupor. He walks just fine now, and he never complains about it.
Basically my question is, how do I go about bringing up my change of feelings towards him?
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