A
female
age
41-50,
*omoe
writes:Himy boyfiend makes sure i enjoy sex and that i orgasm every time we have sex. as a matter of fact i had a relationship with a guy before and i never had an orgasm with him, i couldnt relax and i couldnt completely give in. but i loved the guy and i loved that he loved me and wanted me. my current boyfriend is alot more experienced, and sex is better BUT we have sex once a week but for like two-three times. Not always in the beginnig was like that but now is more like twice on a Saturday. During the week he shows no interest or if i try something or act like i want that he just turns away and read his books. Also when we cuddle he goes a bit beyond cuddling and it is to me like a foreplay and it feels like it should be the same to him but again he says good night and turns away most of the times. if i compare him to my ex, if my ex was cuddling like my current boyfriend he would have a huge erection and would hardly be able to turn away and fall asleep.Is he having some ED problems?? or am i not attractive enough to him. He says that our sex is not like sex but like love-making.. and again i feel may be i just dont turn him on as his ex. He never says anything about his previous experiences and often says that with me is so much better than anything before. Is it a low sex drive? i dont know what to think of that.
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erection, foreplay, his ex, my ex, orgasm, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, No watered down advice here!  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 He does that as a POWER MOVE. He knows you don't truly appreciate him. It's his way of saying, "SEE WHAT YOU MISSING? Give me your all & you'll see all of ME" Call his BUFF! Give your ALL! ijs.
A
female
reader, Momoe +, writes (18 November 2010):
Momoe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for your replies.
I put a lot of effort in this relationship and i think through everything - conversations, sex etc. may be i should take it easy a bit.
the thing is that in my previous relationship i was the one to say no sometimes while in this one it seems like i initiate it more often and that he doesnt have the same need for it.
And also the strange cuddling - it seems more like heavy petting to me. How come he gets his hands everywhere, rubs and stuff and then just says good-night and i go to bed in a bad mood because i am turned on. This makes me feel really awkward
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (18 November 2010):
You mentioned if you "compare him to my ex", that's a NO,NO..never compare the new to the old sexually. Why? because he will feel it. You don't have say you're disappointed for disappointment to show up all over your body. If you want your relationship to get better then you need to talk to him, let him know how you feel,and that right there will open up more doors for GREAT communication,without that, the relationship will die.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): yes it does sound like he puts all his effort into his big performance once a week. And it's important to him to ensure you enjoy it too. He clearly loves you.
But is unresponsive the rest of the time, and does not get it, that is, he does not realise how it hurts you.
He knows the sex he has with you is good. That's because he has a well motivated woman with a healthy libido
.
But sadly it does seem you have mis-matched sex drives.
He could improve. But will take immense sensitivty and caring consideration for his feelings, Do not mention the LSD words.
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A
male
reader, timmy88  +, writes (18 November 2010):
if you are having sex then he obviously doesnt have ED problems. When he's cuddling you its not a sexual act so he hasnt any reason to get aroused.
He obviously finds you attractive aswell or he wouldnt be with you. People have relationships for the full package, looks and personality.
He might have a slightly lower sex drive but it certainly doesnt sound like he has a erection problem.
why dont you start doing some oral stuff and lead it on to sex when you want it. he's unlikely to turn it down. he doesnt have to start it remember
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