A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend, with benefits. Its nice because we both agreed no strings. Lately though, its been... weird, for a lack of a better term. I was talking to a friend of mine(a girl) about how I had this one picture of this (different) guy, not even thinking my "fwb" was standing there listening. My girl friend walked away when I was done showing her, and I looked up to see his face, in an expression I can't even describe. I went to walk away, he grabbed my arm, and just looked at me, with curiosity but not saying anything. When my girl friend came back, he started talking about how he loves his gym because there are these women there who are beautiful, and went on describing them. Few days later, he came in with a hickey on his neck. I thought it was hilarious. He tried to act like it bothered him, whenever he was around me, trying to rub it to make it go away, asked me to rub it to make it go away. Later that night, made it a point to tell me it didn't go anywhere past making out with this girl, and that he was mad she "branded him". It has never bothered him before when he had one, if anything he took pride in it in a way.I have caught him staring at me, or watching me work, sometimes he will smile, when I ask what, he will either say "nothing" and look away, or just smile and shake his head like he has a joke in his head. When he found out a regular customer had been hitting on me, since I expressed I wasn't interesting in the customer, he stood there, watching the guy for a long time, telling me how many times the guy looked at my rear.He is always calling me sexy, or cute, trying to make me laugh all the time, gets huggy some times, loves grabbing/slapping my tush. Sometimes he will want me to text him after I get home.But then, there are days he is off in his own world. he will still do his flirty thing, just not as much, but he will still stare. Sometimes it gets awkward because he stares for a long time, even after i look away. could it just be that he is getting comfortable with me, since this has been going on for 6 months?I'm just not sure. Is he getting attached, wanting me more then we had agreed? or is he just being the flirt/player that we all know him for, being as he is known for being a womanizer? or is he just being a friend?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 March 2011):
 Majority of women, no matter the age, often overanalyze situations. Especially when males are involved. The reason why I say you might be developing feelings because often women are the ones who break the "no strings attached rule" in FWBs. To majority of us sex is associated with love. Our parents taught us that sex is a sacred act that is shared with someone you love. So for a lot of women it's VERY difficult to take the feeling away from sex. Now there are some women out there that can seriously have that meaningless sex in FWBs. From your post alone, I still stand by he doesn't feel anything more for you. If there are other questionable things to lead you to believe he does (and this isn't just you overanalyzing it) then yes I would end this arrangement. You know what it's like to feel something when the other person doesn't. It hurts and isn't fair.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thought a lot about your answer, and the best I can say is you very well could be right. However, being as he isn't what I am looking for in a man, complete opposite in fact, down to the way we talk (he speaks in slang and though my grammar may not be perfect, slang bugs me, and I don't understand it), not to mention a few years younger then me, I can't see my self being with him in that way. I see him as a friend, and I care for him as a friend. The best I can say about picking up on the details, I have a friend who said he would get attached (said friend apparently was in a similar situation, and got attached to his older FB, and he made it very clear to me that "Its going to happen") So, with that being said, the type of person I am, I over analyze everything. So I look into the details, worried, is he? isn't he? I know it sounds weird, and kinda iffy, but honestly, I think its just a female thing, because I know lots of women who are far worse then I am about that type of thing. SO I think it was more my friend got it into my head, so I over thought it all, especially since this has been going on for over 6 months now. I figure, he is just getting comfortable with me, however, it does concern me when he plainly states to me, "Oh, believe me, I'm in no hurry to up my number" (referring to number of partners) which is VERY unlike him, since he apparently is this big "player". Now thank you, for your answer. I do appreciate it. Of course it does concern me that I may in fact be the one getting attached, and of course that is something I thought about for a long time. Considering that I have been in situations where I am the one getting attached, I know how to handle my self, push my self away emotionally, and eventually end it if I believe that is the case. I was more curious if I should end it because he may be getting attached. More "questionable" things have happened, although I wont mention them. Just something I will deal with. Thanks again for the answer!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 March 2011):
Actually from this post you sound like the one who is wanting more. You're looking into his words, body language way more than you sounds. FWBs, no string attached, fuck buddies is an extremely casual, laid back affair. Your main concern is sex, nothing more, nothing less.
You just described his usual sexual, flirty, player self. If he wanted more then he wouldn't exactly be walking in with hickeys on his neck from another FWB. He would be trying to wine and dine you instead of "wham, bam, thank you ma'am." What you have is a friend who you have sex with, that's it.
Now if you're starting to form feelings for your co-worker( very dangerous waters) FWB then I suggest you end this "friendship".
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