A
female
age
30-35,
*uzzycushion
writes:Its been three months since we broke up, maybe more, which is a good sign since i stopped counting the days.I feel im at that point where, yes im thinking about them still, but they aren't my only thought.So i began to move on, i have been getting close with someone else, but what happens? my ex comes sniffing back around, he says that me moving on makes him feel crap, because he now realises he messed up so bad and wishes it had worked out, and that he knows they will make me happier than he did. Feels guilty he ever hurt me, says he feels more mature now and everything is begining to hit him all at once.I asked him if this was true why didnt we ever try again? he said i didnt think you wanted to. I mean come on, yes i have been nothing short of a bish these past 3 months, but ive been giving clear signs, - if you ever want to get back together im there - yes i turned into the desperate dog.He says he misses having me there, i was the only person who ever really understood him, he blames himself for it ending because he messed up his oppertunity so bad, he wishes it had went different, he should have stayed instead of running scared. We have been talking alot more, laughing together again, everytime we talk we usually end up laughing about the times we spent together, him trying to serenade me etc:Now heres the big but, he left me because of one argument to go back with his ex because she had less problems, he was most likely setting this up during our time together. He broke my heart twice, one for leaving me, second when i tried to be his friend and he told me he hated me and dropped me like there was no tomorow. He only started saying these things because im getting with someone else.My question, is he just realising what he lost? regreting his mistakes,or is the jealous dog coming out to play? He can move on but i cant, he didnt want me but no one else is allowed to have me?I have another question, if we ever were to get back together, what is the odds he would leave me again for her, would i be setting myself up for more heartache?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bobbyjo +, writes (29 July 2011):
 Hey hun, well speaking from experience I think hes playing the 'I dont want you but I dont want anyone else to have you' card Im afraid. Im going through a similar situation, an ex who I wanted back so bad didnt want to know. Then something happened in my life, something very successful, and he started sniffing around me again. I stupidly took him back and guess what? He got bored after a few weeks and ended things again. And now im left picking up the pieces. I think this might happen to you. I would say leave it behind and move on x
A
female
reader, Bobbyjo +, writes (29 July 2011):
Hey hun, well speaking from experience I think hes playing the 'I dont want you but I dont want anyone else to have you' card Im afraid. Im going through a similar situation, an ex who
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): He hurt you alot, canyou forgive him? If you were to take him back then you have to leave what happened in the past, are you able to do that? It will never work if you can't. Also do you think he can make you feel that bad again? It's got to be your choice what you do. I have been the same about my ex, he cheated on me but I wanted him back, he didn't. Now I am at a point where I feel I am moving on with my life and I am not thinking of those two all the time, in my head I don't want him back anymore, ask me what my reaction would be if he turned up on my doorstep telling me he as made a mistake and wants me back....I do not know how I would react, why because its only been 4 months and everything is till so raw and I am not strong enough to tell him to get lost I don't think, i am getting there but I am not there yet and its going to take time so.
My point being he hurt you and 3 months is not that long so of course you still have feelings for him, of course you are considering it, I would be the same, he hurt you badly. Only you can decide what to do for the best, its up you, you will have all sorts of feelings and emotions going on in your head, take your time thinking about it, remember if you do take him back that you will always be able to say you tried, but its your choice and personally I wouldn't say you are making a big mistake if you did, you may make the right decision but who knows, it would be a chance you would have to take, do you think you can risk it and take that chance?
Good luck and I hope you can make that decision!!
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A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 That sounds like one big, dysfunctional relationship.
Leave it alone and leave it behind you.
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