A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is he cheating? pls tell me what you think..thanks..?Hey guys..I need an objective opinion asap. I have been going out for a guy for 10 months. For the last 2-3 months we were on and off and every time we had a fight he would dump on me. I guess he just freaked. Sex was still good and we started to try for a baby..and things were going well for a while again until today. One of his friends who is a girl who he fell out with 4 months ago sent him a txt wne I was with him last night out of the blue inviting him out with her and her boyf but not inviting me just him..so I got annoyed as she knows I am with him right..anyway he calmed me down said he wanted me etc..and we did it again. Anyway today he buys me breakfast...was all good. Then out of the blue dumps on me via phone call...BUT before he does that..he says how he had a fight with her - shouted at her..she burst into tears and ran away from him..YET he would not tell me what he said to her to upset her so much. I tried to be nice and help him repair his friendship..but instead he said I cant be with you anymore..and of course I flipped and cut the phone to him but before doing so..said looks like u give more of a damn about her then me..anyway I looked up her email address..as she works in the same place..found it in the staff directory - emailed her and ccd him..asking if she had slept with him..cos I love the guy..anyway she ignores. I never gave out to her and said I won't blame u if u have cos chances are u didnt know about me..and left it at that..I threw up in the staff loo and was trying not to sob at my desk for the rest of work..telling people I had hayfever that made my eyes water..JUST TO SAVE FACE. I called him names and called him a cheater..JUST flipped and sent too many txts saying I get it..mean nothing to u and u want her..WELL at least have the guts to tell me..and not be so spineless. Anyway he writes 3 hrs later that he had done nothing..but damage was already done and now we are ignoring each other. I dont want my relationship to die like this..and all cos of his fight with her. Why am I being made the victim of their fight??????????????? Why did she cry?? IF she is going out with someone else????????? Before I met him he fancied her sexually..and well she rejected him and told him she found him repulsive..HENCE my suspicions. But he didnt expect me to be so confident to email her directly. I just wanted her to be aware that she may be being played too..BUT why would he do this if he has been trying to get me pregnant??????? and how can the relationship be EVER repaired now that this has happened. My period is not due for another 2 wks..but as you can imagine am at a loss to understand what the hell is going on..what is his game?? I had lots of sex with him..so feel a bit sick...and traumatised. Why discard me like a piece of crap..just cos he made her cry..I felt compared to her too which made me feel sick..like as if he thought we were both the same..I am now worried she will reply and tell me no she didnt sleep with him...but she may never reply..cos I mean I just said I need to know for my own peace of mind cos he won't say..and I need to know that...for my own well being. Please try to understand..that I don't mind what you say..just as long as you tell me the truth. Please people ideas?? I need a solution. I don't want anyone else.I also leaped down his throat via voicemail and told him I refuse to be his doormat anymore. You could face her but not me. She got more respect from you then I do..and YET I am the one YOU have been sleeping with. Please what am I missing here?
View related questions:
period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst thank you to all who answered. I totally agree with everything you have pointed out. The fight must have been about me. He did tell her to stop contacting him when he is with me. But the rest of the fight he would not shed light on..and like you said anonymous no-one dumps the love of their life just to please a friend...sobbbbb sorry.. And Grimm Reality...please send me an email on this would love to pm you..thank you..yes he tends to dump on a Friday and make up by Monday..you are totally right..what does that mean?? ideas?? and how can this relationship be salvaged NOW that this has happened??? I really love the guy and I would never have done so much with him if I knew that this was on the horizon..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): Hi You need to take a break from him. I do not believe you should appologise. Why should he expect you to be understanding when he dumped you to please a "friend". I hate to point the obvious but if he cares more about this "friends" crying and hurting then she must mean alot more to him than you do. No guy dumps the love of his life and the woman he is planning a baby with for a "friend". Put your chin high, walk tall, pull yourself together, stop the sms/email, voice mail - stop all contact and focus on healing. If he truly loves you he will come after you, if not you are better off without someone like him.
...............................
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 Young lady,
God only knows right now....but from what you have written:
The fights you have in which you are dumped for short periods of time only to re-unite(are these fights by any chance begun on Fridays, and the make up is Sunday night or Monday?)
Was the text from the other girl the only contact that you know of.
why would he dump you after breakfast only to intimate that he had an argument with this girl and not give you any details(obviously the incident was about you).
It all seems a little too contrived on his part. If she was "repulsed" by him, that is definitely not a usual description of someone who is a friend.
SWEETY, ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT!
please feel free to pm me if you wish. I am always willing to help those who deserve it.
...............................
A
male
reader, malum424 +, writes (30 April 2009):
 First off calm down alittle you may never know if he did or didn't have sex with that other woman. But you should think about what he means to you as a person. If you truly have strong feeling for him then give him a call telling him you're sorry but make sure and let him know that he hurt you too. Being calm with him when you talk will help enpower you and put him more at ease also.
...............................
|
