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female
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anonymous
writes: He is 51 i am 46,i feel he is cheating,i have no proof,just by his actions, of course he says he is faithful but his behavior shows different.If you love someone with all your heart and soul would you tell them you will not be in their will because your a jealous person and you drive them crazy?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2006): If he is saying stuff like to you, I would say perhaps he's a bit resentful of some of your behaviours, as well. It appears from your posting, you are suspecting him of infidelity without the solid proof. Why don't you believe him? I don't know why people do this to each other? It's like they play this mindgame where they put the person they love to a test, based only on suspicions. In this case, it's like you are wanting him to fail, dear. Have you ever wondered why you are choosing this behavior, which will inevitably kill this relationship? Dignity and respect is what is needed here from both of you. You both need to be more loving with each other and stop this pettiness. If he is showing unloving behaviours toward you, then ask him what the problem is, in a honest, mature manner. I hope you are not acting jealous and out of control because if you are...this could be what is turning him off. Let him know exactly, what he's doing that is upsetting you. But stop allowing your fears to control this relationship. I am not saying he is or is not cheating on you, hun but why live with this negativity and allow it to taint your relationship? Make a choice to respect him and stop accusing him. You have NO proof and until you do...you say nothing more about this. Remember, jealous behaviour is dysfunctional, it's wrong and it's a form of control. You are trying to keep him on a short leash and you can't do that to anyone. That's wrong. This is what he's seeing in you. So stay calm and begin acting more loving. Take care, dear and good luck.
A
female
reader, Allsorts54 +, writes (14 September 2006):
as you say you dont know,leave the poor man alone.Jealousy can drive the other partner crazy.Also it can make you loose it if you know what I mean.What you should do is to get your life back and try to restore trust until you have proof of his cheating.And even if you get proof decide what action to take rationally and do.Jealousy is not good at all.
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