A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months now and we are pretty serious. Now before me and him started dating we talked for a year (as friends) and for a few weeks out of that year he was dating someone else but he left her cause she was "crazy and stalkerish" as he put it. After we started dating she kept stalking him and even tried chewing me out for being with him so I asked him to stop having any kind of contact with her and he promised me he blocked her from everything.Well we tell each other everything, we are very honest and open. So today I went onto his face-book profile to change his profile picture to something I made for him to surprise him and put a smile on his face so I took a look in his messages, curiosity hit me, and I see that he's been recently messaging the crazy ex of his even though he promised me he'd stop and blocked her. And he's been acting very odd-ish lately. We've been arguing more and spending time together less and I just feel like something isn't right but i'm not sure what.Do you guys think he's cheating on me or regretting being together?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): *I'm the poster*
Well I talked to him and he said that he doesn't know how to block people because he doesn't spend his life on facebook and that he loves me and swears to it... but I can't ever talk to him about our problems because he gets angry right away. He knows I have access and gave me the access cause he says he has nothing to hide but I found another lie. It's a stupid lie too. I said "Oh mr. popular, look at all your friends." And he said they request him but he requests most of the girls... stupid to lie about but it worries me.
And today we got into a fight because he wants to go to Europe in the fall without me. Am I wrong for asking him not to go because I want US to do things TOGETHER instead of me sitting on the bench jealous, left behind that he can do whatever, whenever? I keep asking him if he cares still and h swears that he loves me... well why can't he show it?
I have a 3yo daughter that he knew about for a year before we started dating... I'm so hurt and confused. But he gets pissy every time I try to talk to him. Please help?
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (6 June 2010):
 Only he knows the answer. Ask him. At the very least he's dishonest with you. Is that a deal breaker? It would be for me, because now you have to keep your eye on him and that is so exhausting in a relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): I don't know why he is talking to his ex, whether he is intending to cheat or still has feelings...I guess no one can say for sure what his reasons are. Maybe it is harmless. Maybe he is trying to tell her to back off. But it does concern me if he told you he had blocked her, and is now talking to her. Like I said, it could be nothing, but if you have a bad feeling about it, then I think you should listen to that.
I think it might be best to ask him about it. I'm not sure if that might be difficult though. I mean, does he know you have access to his Facebook account? Is he okay with it? If not, then he might not be happy that you saw the messages. But even so, I think you need to say something to him, to get an answer. Otherwise, you will not know what is going on, and will just be troubled by worrying thoughts. I hope it all works out okay, good luck. x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 June 2010):
Well he did say that he'd blocked her. And though I never think that having passwords and sharing facebook pages and such is a good idea, I think this has highlighted a problem. Talk to him calmly about it. You don't know that he's cheated. All you know is that he's spoken to her. So before confronting him, do more digging around to find the truth out. Confront too early and you'll never get an answer.
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