| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Ok, my boyfriend has a huge collection of porn - i mean thousands of images on his computer - i knew he looked at porn when i met him - but it is now bothering me that he has such a big collection. We have been together about 18mths and live together. He is 39 and says he has always liked looking at porn. I know most men do look - sometimes but i dont think its right that he saves so many images. Is he addicted? our sex life is good and adventurous but this is really starting to bug me know - I have talked to him and he has stopped viewing as often as he did - i do know this - but its still too often for me - its the first thing he does when he gets home from nights and as soon as i go to work most days. What can i do?
View related questions:
addicted to porn, porn, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): I agree with Ryder and Lildeesbg. You have three main things you can do: 1) speak with him and get him to realize how uncomfortable it is for you and allow him to stop - possibly over time less and less until nil, 2) compromise somehow, or 3) leave him.
A
female
reader, lildeesbg  +, writes (20 January 2007):
 Too much of anything is NO GOOD! It is normal for anyone (especially men) to like porn and have a collection of it, but to view it everyday and have a routine about it definitely shows he is addicted...Just like when smokers need to smoke after a big meal...Porn is his addiction!
Here is what I can add...He is addicted and being addicted to anything isnt good!
I think you need to first weigh out your options if the relationship is worth working out. If so tell him how it makes you feel and its discouraging and upsetting. See if he can go a day or so not viewing it at all if not maybe professional help is what is needed for him.
~dee
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): what a loser with a capital 'L'. Listen do you really want to spend your life with a wanker, who is happy to degrade women and support a sick industry plus obviously doesnt feel your body alone is enough to satisfy him? Get out now before you get anymore hurt...Decent guys are out there, believe me, only porn viewing wankers who wat6ch porn themselves will tell you all guys do it...THEY dont!!! not the ones with self resepct and respect for their partners.
...............................
A
male
reader, Ryder  +, writes (19 January 2007):
 I see what you mean... But honestly i can't give you perfect advice since i never experienced the need of watching porn all the time sure i do watch like once a week maybe more maybe less...
Usually when someone thinks of waching porn on his way home is a problem cause that means he psycological needs to watch porn for the sake of viewing the pics or movies.
He is addicted to porn and there are possibly 2 things you can do about it:
1- Go talk to him every now and then for about 15 mins about the need of him watching porn, tell him that it bothers you and dont get too offensive for example like hey its the porn or me... cause he will just say im sorry but i have been watching these pics for a long time and i cant stop.
2- Convince him to see a psychiatrist where this problem could be solved but i doubt he would ever agree to go.
At the end its up to you, you have to sit and think with yourself whether you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who watches porn everyday and think of the advantages and disadvantages... and then compare the pain of having time off/possibly divorcing him, having to put up with his bad habbit and the pain of helping him or forcing him to get professional help.
Hope this helped you in making a decision which is best for you.
...............................
|
