A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I've met someone who seems like he could potentially be a fantastic match for me- Our first date went on for 12 hours and I barely noticed I was having so much fun. Our second date went just as well. I haven't met anyone in a long time I get on with this well and am attracted to. We are now lining up date number 3... He lives two hours away so we have talked a lot in between the dates. At the end of date two, we had our first proper kiss. We were in his lounge, and this quickly started to escalate but when he asked me if I wanted to go to the bedroom, I turned him down and said it was too soon for me. I'm thinking now on date 3 he is likely to expect sex. I know it will be really tempting for me to sleep with him but am worried if I do he will just see me as a casual thing and I want to set the scene for a relationship.... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2015): Whether the 2 of you have a good long term relationship together has little to do with when you have sex.
If you tell him you never have sex in the first x months then fine, you will see how much he respects you.
On the other hand if you have a history of one night stands then he may feel you are messing with him. There arr no hard rules here, you just have to follow your intuition.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 March 2015):
 If you really like him and want him to see you as more than a casual thing, I would wait.
It's hard with a 2 hour distance but I think in the long run since you are asking that it will be worth it.
are you guys meeting in the middle or is he coming to you?
you were at his place for a second date... where was the first date?
since you had a kiss and he immediately went to "moving to the bedroom" and it was at his place, I would tread lightly.
since you want more than casual do not have sex with him. and stop going to his place if that's what you have been doing.
meeting him half way is fine.... do that. if he balks at that and wants to come to your place, suggest that he can come to your area and you can go out. then if you have a guest room he can stay in your guest room or you can suggest a hotel. HIS reaction to these suggestions will be very enlightening. If he agrees to meeting half way that's a good sign. IF he's willing to come to your part of town and stay in a hotel or guest room that's even better.
if he balks at not being at a location where you can have intimate relations, tread VERY carefully.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2015): I made my (now BF of over two yrs) wait for what felt like ages. (About 4 weeks and maybe 20 dates lol) There was so much chemistry there! But it was fun, he told me he never had waited so long and he also enjoyed the teasing. (I did talk dirty about 'when' so he knew it was coming!) Point being, I had been in a very long term relationship before him and he was the first after it. I wasn't ready. Didn't mean I couldn't have fun though!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2015): May I ask you this, what's the rush with sex? It's the third date. So?!!
If a guy is really into you, he'll wait until you're ready.
You don't give up your body hoping that will encourage him to stick around. That's how you tell if it's you he's interested in, or just what's up your skirt. Please don't "play hard to get!!!" That's not what I'm suggesting. I HATE THAT TERM!!! Games and tricks are for kids. Adults use their interactive and communicative skills to get a point across. Not through guessing-games and tom-foolery. You don't want to be hard to get, just not too easy!
Allow him enough time for his feelings to formulate. So he feels tingles for you above the waist.
Wait and see if chemistry builds between the two of you, both mentally and physically. Try being on the same page. Of course he wants to boink you. You wouldn't have written your post if that's all it means to you. If he dumps you, he would have done it had he got what he wanted anyway.
Like the typical-guy, he'd jump your bones before he knew your name. You want to see if anything is in the horizon.
So, cross your legs!!! You can still make-out. Test his kissing skills. See how tender he can be with his clothes on. Test his patience and see how romantic he's willing to be; in order to gain your trust and increase your attraction. Be sweet and affectionate. If you get too hot and bothered, and you don't think you can hold-out; just don't attach feelings, until you know he's going to call you afterwards.
You really don't know the guy, if you've only been out a couple of times. If you're the type that gets attached after sex, you had better wait until you know where this is going.
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